My mother is 81. She has senile dementia and paranoia. She is very funny about food. She doesn’t want to throw anything away. I found a jar of fermented okra in the fridge and showed it to her and told her I was going to get rid of it. She looked like she had a demon in her eyes and told me to leave her food alone. I put it back. I can tell she’s not eating it but why keep it? And other things to that need thrown out. Stale crackers and other jars I’m afraid to open.
If there is one “rule” to follow - one thing you should take to heart - as you are dealing with your aging mother - it’s what cwillie said.
What I have come to call The Golden Rule of Dementia. And, that is: There is no reasoning with Dementia.
Just do what you need to do - be as sneaky as you need to be - in order to keep your mother safe.
If you wait for her to agree with you and/or for her to understand and see things from your point of view - nothing will ever get done.
Dont wait for the Botulism to set in.
Your kitchen, your fridge rules I'd say. If your mother wants to keep some of her own speciality items, fine, but you can still insist they have to be within recommended Use By dates.
Or, could you surreptitiously substitute fresh jars of okra, say, or new crackers for the ones that have expired?
I don't say anything to her about it and she doesn't ask!
Then again, I alway remember my dear old gran. Cooked me an omelette when I was a kid. Tasted a bit funny. So I said "Gran are those eggs in date". Her reply "Eggs don;t go out of date".
He let me clear out one food cupboard last June. There was food with best before dates going back a decade or more in it.
I do not touch the other cupboards, although I know there is food that needs to be tossed.
Dad does not have dementia, he does tend to hoard food. He also can no longer reach the top shelves of cupboards. Perhaps this June I will have permission to clean out another cupboard. I have to use clear garbage bags when tossing anything in his home and ask him about each item.
Try pointing out to your mom that you can smell the stuff is spoiled. She might be touchy about having a house that smells and acquiesce. That worked with my dad. He actually ended up ruining his refrigerator with the smell of rotting food that won't go away.
That's only if she finds out you're tossing things because I agree with the others to just toss without warning. Above is just if you're caught.
I remember visiting my MIL for Thanksgiving. She had bagels in her frig bin from the Thanksgiving before. They were hard. I went thru and found all her bread items in the bin were wayyyyy out of Date. I was going to toss them but husband felt I should at least put them on the counter. She wasn't appreciative but I told her they were not edible. Later she thanked me because it gave her room for TG leftovers. We didn't realize till later this was the beginning.
See All Answers