I am in my mid 30's and have been caring for an elderly and disabled Mom and Uncle for the past 12 years while working full time. My Uncle recently passed away and I am struggling with grief. My Mom's care has become so much more involved over the past few months so I am overwhelmed almost all of the time. I am sinking into a depression. I can feel the tidal wave of darkness and despair building and I am powerless to stop it. I am just too darn tired. Tired of putting myself last and having no life. Tired of being exhausted all the time and tired of not having the energy to care for myself. Quite frankly, I am too young to be this tired and I am so angry that I am in this position. But at the same time, given these choices again, I would make the same exact decisions. So, I am left with being aggravated and angry at myself because I am in a "no win" scenario that is self created. Thank you for allowing me to vent. (Trying to remember that, "This too shall pass" and today is just a bad day. Tomorrow is a new day)
i really get a lot out of reading every ones stories. So many caring people in the same story.
ive been carer my mum 7 years. I’ve just started walking one hour in morning. Something for myself. Only been 8 days walking each day. But great relief. And I’m better person for it.
little things in life are the big things.
best wishes too all.
If they are understanding and think you should make time for yourself then you need to force yourself to do so. You should also arrange someone to come in even if they spend the time sitting with your mum and uncle and not doing anything - it gives you some space.
If money is tight, go camping. I have found that at my most stressful times, nature has helped me the most. Even sitting on a park bench for a short time has helped me regroup and recharge. If you can go relax on a park bench, pick one in an area with lots of birds, squirrels, something fun to watch. Get as much exercise and fresh air as you can.
Playing with pets pets has helped me.
If these options are unappealing, movies have also been a great escape for me. Preview the topic, so you don’t make things harder by watching something that makes you feel bad.
Knowing there are many people going through the same thing generally helped me. Talking with other caregivers helped.
You should also talk to your doctor. If you don’t have one, talk to your Mom’s doctor.
If you just can’t do this any longer, don’t fault yourself. There are many residential options for your Mom. You could still visit and take her on outings. You would still have lots of time together. You could have better quality time together if you don’t have all the physical labor, exhaustion and mental responsibility.