Their home is infested with rats and roaches and my baby sister is not there 24/7, but claiming that she’s taking care of them. She is barely there but wants them to stay for her own gain. What can we do? They both are showing signs of Alzheimer’s. My mom is a diabetic and they both have high blood pressure. They don’t want to leave their home, but it’s not fit to stay in.
Or are you hearing about it from others, or via the phone?
I would shift the focus off the 'baby sister' & leave bold assumptions about her motives aside. Away from blaming 'baby sister' & focus on the real problem here : safety & hygiene.
1. Have you discussed the mice/rat issue with your parents yourself?
What was their response?
Fear? Anxiety? Denial? No clue?
2. What steps are THEY taking to deal with this?
3. If they cannot/will not take steps - report their address to Adult Protection Services for an urgent welfare check.
If the home is suspected of squalor & a vermin problem, a visit by authorities hopefully is scheduled quickly.
My relative saw evidence of mice. Got new bins with better fitting lids, plugs all wall holes, laid traps & continues to use natural plant based oils to deter. Problem gone.
They are independant.
Are your parents still independant?
That the real problem.
Do they need help?
Do they need a caregiver?
Is anyone POA?
Do they have any medical diagnosis that makes them "vulnerable"?
Side comment...
Before your sibling takes them in I would do the following:
Don't bring ANY clothing, furniture or items from their house until it has been cleared of any infestation.
If a sibling OTHER than the younger one that is "staying" with them is POA the POA can make any decision that is in their best interest. (If the one staying with them is POA then another sibling may have to file for Guardianship)
A call to APS or your State's Elder Abuse Hotline number might help.
If there is a local Senior Service Center they will probably have a Social Worker that can help.
If you or another sibling can arrange a "Doctors appointment" and bring them both to the doctors for an evaluation that might also get things started as doctors are MANDATED reporters of neglect and abuse.
Even if nothing is found getting them out of the house for an appointment might just facilitate a move to your siblings house the same day. That way they have nothing but the clothes they have on.
If they have a social worker, that person needs to be working with you.
Do you have all legal needs in place - to make decisions on their behalf?
Get an attorney.
Have they been determined medically to not have the capacity to take care of themselves (dementia) - you need this documentation.
"Showing signs of Dementia (may not be Alz) - if their home is 'infested with rats and roaches,' the situation is way beyond showing signs. You/family should have been alerted to this situation way before the rats and roaches were seen (rotten food left out? filthy conditions/not cleaning, etc. - self care?)
I am perplexed why it has taken this long to 'notice' what is going on?
Is family / someone checking in on them regularly? How often?
Of course they refuse to leave. With their declining cognitive abilities (confusion, perhaps hallucinations) it is 'their home' - what is familiar to them.
This decision is not up to them. It should not have been up to them 'to decide' way before the rats/roaches approched. Clearly, they do not have the mental capacity to make these decisions - with the rats/roaches, they STILL do not want to leave. What does this tell you?
You/family needs to get medical and legal matters in order, yesterday.
You move them out today - Period.
Call APS.
Gena / Touch Matters