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I am at a loss. Somedays are more difficult then others. I normally am a happy person. I still see my friends and have both my Covid shots already. During the last year with Covid I didn't get to hug my mom or see her very often. They put up plexiglass outside during the summer and I would schedule an hour appt once a week. It wasn't enough. I think she died before her time of loneliness. Im in a support group but I miss her so much.


Then the loss of my best friend makes it so much worse. I miss her more than I thought I could miss anyone. The two of them make this a horrible time.

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I am so sorry that you are having to deal with the loss of 2 very important people in your life. Grief is hard. I know. But you must remember that it's only been a few months since you lost them both. It will take a lot longer than that before you start to feel more like yourself again, so please give yourself some grace during your grieving process.
My husband of 26 years died 7 months ago, and I'm still having a hard time with it. Just when I think I'm having a pretty good day, something will trigger my grief. It could be a song, something I've read, or just walking by his picture on my wall. It doesn't take much. But I don't beat myself up over it. I just let it come, and I let myself feel it,(which is so important)instead of stuffing it down. Everyone grieves differently, and everyone's timetable for grieving is different as well, so just take your time through the process, as your mom and friend deserve that much. God bless you.
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Skiskinny110 Apr 2021
Volunteering in their honor is such a good idea. I will do that. You really helped today. You are a wonderful person.
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I am so sorry you are going through this.
Grief at any time is difficult but during a time when we are supposed to keep our distance, no hugging makes grief even more difficult.
I can say all the things that people do..they are out of pain....they will not suffer any longer...but that does not help the ones left behind.
Honor them by doing.
Was there something that your mom and your friend liked doing? Can you volunteer in their honor?
Dealing with 2 losses so close if you feel like you need to talk to someone ask your doctor for a name of a therapist that you can talk to. Sometimes talking to 1 person helps when a Support Group might not be enough.
Just give yourself time. How much time?...As long as it takes is the right answer. No one should have a timetable on grief.
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Skiskinny110 Apr 2021
Honoring my mom and my friend Linda is a great idea. I can do volunteer work. Linda had cancer so I can volunteer with the City of Hope. My mother I can spend time helping someone who doesn't get visitors. I can be helpful to someone with minor dementia.
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There is no reason that you SHOULDN’T be having a hard time. I hope people around you are not insisting that you should.

I’m so sorry for all of these losses.

Perhaps consider a GriefShare group. You can Google them. Our local group is meeting in-person.

Best wishes.
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Try the book Healing After Loss, by Martha Hickman. You read only one page a day for a year, and it just helps walk you through grief in small, manageable bites.

If it doesn't help, consider getting some therapy beyond just the grief group. It really can help. Keep in mind, though, it hasn't been very long, and it's tough to recover from grief when you haven't really finished grieving yet.
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funkygrandma59 Apr 2021
I don't know if it was you who recommended that book months ago to someone else, but I ordered it after my husband died, and it has been very helpful, especially early on, when I could only handle but so much, and having just a daily reading was and still is perfect. If it was you, thank you.
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