Only one person attended my mom's memorial service. I kept in touch with these people & although I was away from the job for almost 5 months there were never any issues... A collection for me was not made. Not even a mass card or sympathy card. I was not looking for anything but a little support. I'm sad.. I have very little family and am now alone. Am I overreacting?
I may be going against the flow here, but I do think that you may be over-reacting. The important bit for me is your comment that you are ‘being treated very differently’. In what way? How is the current treatment hurting you? Many people of our age have lost parents, and many people have been badly affected by fear, loss, poverty and loneliness in the last year. Is it possible that you are expecting special treatment that doesn’t fit well with other people, especially now?
In my experience, attending the funeral of a work colleague’s parent would be quite unusual unless there was a personal connection with the parent. I have never heard of a ‘collection’ for the work colleague, and wonder why you would expect it. Sympathy card possibly, but more likely a brief comment of personal sympathy.
If you feel that you are ‘being treated very differently’, it would be a good idea to look at your own behavior and expectations to see why they may be reacting badly.
I suppose that there could be several reasons why they weren’t attentive. Sometimes, people don’t know what to say. They feel awkward and decide not to say anything which is sad for you.
Or perhaps they haven’t loss anyone close to them and they don’t even understand the grief process themselves.
They may not be religious so they don’t see the importance of other’s beliefs.
The very least they could have done was to buy a sympathy card and have everyone sign it. I am sorry that they did not show common courtesy by doing this.
You can have a Mass said for the deceased at any time. I do this and many others do too. Accept that your co workers did not do it but please do it yourself.
I wish you peace during this difficult time of grief.
Know that your mom is at peace and she would want you to be at peace.
Take care. I will say a prayer for you and your mom’s soul. I will also light a candle for each of you.
Thinking of you.
Thirty years ago, I lost my brother unexpectedly, and took off work for 2 weeks or so. When I returned, my co-workers had signed a card and taken up a collection of about $700, which was 2+ weeks salary! I was so touched and grateful. This also happened with co-workers where I live now, when my father passed away in the mid-90s.
Five or six years ago, a co-worker who moved to a different state lost her sister unexpectedly. I was able to get her mailing address and sent her a card and some money. She was so amazed! I wonder if people just don't do that any more?