I'm resigning as my Mom's POA. Mom has Middle stages Alzheimers. I'm in Florida, and an only child. She has no friends or anyone in the family who would agree to take this on. This is affecting my health (anxiety, vertigo for starters), affecting my personal life, and all for an emotionally abusive Mother that was never there for me anyway. Does anyone have experience on the other side of this? Like once you were taken off as POA, how did you feel? Did things get easier? Did you stay in touch with the parent, etc? I'm in tears everyday (not at all like me..), my Mom is behaving horribly, but only around me. I think it's called "pushing my buttons"....
I got her to a safe place in an ALF 2 years ago. I want to now resign as POA and let a state appointed guardian take over and do what she needs.
You can remain as poa, handle her finances etc but there’s no earthly reason to go visit or speak with her. And tell the facility to not even call you unless is a REALLY important issue. Like start hospice or something.
I dealt with my angry mom from three states away. Saw her every 2 or 3 months. Phone call once a month. Texted or called staff once or twice a week to keep tabs on mom and dad.
Wishing you peace and happiness.
another reason for court appointed guardian.
All you need to do to resign is do a resignation letter. No attorney required. A simple as of date, I will no longer be the DPOA for name. Date, sign and send. That is it.
I bet if you read the entire document there is some clause about no longer being the POA.
You have done the best you can, it is okay to walk away and have a life free from her hatefulness. This is her choice, she could have been decent to you. You are nobody's scratching post.
It does get easier to not be the solution, especially when you fill your time with loving, appreciative people. You will wonder why you waited so long.
Go have a beautiful life and mourn the loss of the mother you never had.
my concern has been that she will blame me if she is placed in a shared room Medicaid NH.
but I was going to have to put her there in about a year anyway, due to finances. So I was really only delaying the rage from her that I will no doubt receive no matter what I do..
Being made to feel guilty for being born is a huge weight to put on a child and an adult..
when you’re raised by this you come to somehow think it’s normal for a Mom to treat you this way. Until you see what a normal mother daughter relationship should look like, then you’re just left feeling empty and cheated of the life you deserved.
i think that’s where this will get tricky. It turns into a court thing and the state having to declare her incompetent. Didn’t know all this when I signed on...
The issue with State Guardianship is that they have thousands of patients. Your Mother just adds one more. You would still be No Contact, unless you wanted to visit and/or call.
So, Maybe it’s more a question of do you want to cut off contact with your Mother? It sounds like you certainly are entitled to. But you can do that whether you are POA or not.
I hope this helped clarify things a bit :)