I care give for my partner who has Huntington's Disease. I feel as though I am losing myself and who I am. I do nothing but care for him. He is able to walk and get around but has had numerous falls and broken bones etc. I told him I wanted to get somebody in the home to relieve me once in a while but he is insistent on not letting anyone come to the house. I am so depressed and I long for my family and friends. How do I get him to understand this is important to me?
I am in the middle of a 4 day respite break from my husband who's in the 6th stage of Alzheimer's still at home with me 24/7 and this is the first break this year, he is still telling the staff he is leaving, I feel bad that he is causing a fuss but I so desperately needed the break. When I took him to the care home I tell him it is a special type of hotel as he is adamant that he is not going into a home, but it did not take long and he was saying I am not staying here, even though he will forget what I say I still let him know I was sorry he felt that way but I was still leaving him there for a few days and would be back to get him, he said when I leave he'll be right behind me, I called the next day and was told he was coming to the desk every 10 minutes to say he was leaving and when was I coming to get him….It is such a treat to be able to stop in a a girl friends house for a cup of tea and visit, which I did on my way home and realized I had not been there for 4 years and little things like getting up to a dry bathroom floor and absolute quiet, what a treat not getting the constant same questions all day…I dread Monday morning when I pick him up. I did this once last fall and he was so good, hardly fussed at all so I was taken back this time, the thing is if I break down or end up sick, who will take care of him??? There is no one around to pitch in.
Mom acts pointy and miffed at me. Too bad. It's called reality.
I understand that about 30 % of caregivers die before the one being cared for.
Good luck
If more than that is needed, I agree with the others, just set up the in home assistant, and get out for a while. If he won't use their service, while they are there, let him do without any help for a while. He'll get no sympathy from me if he won't accept help when it's provided. You are not a medical assistive device (that exists only for the purpose of serving a patient) and he does not have the right to turn you into one.
great & I so support it. Look to elder care in your area too. There are a lot of support systems in place to help in the community. Look into it.