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My husband is 91 with ALZ, and he is pretty much confined to his room. He can come out, but I encourage him not to and bring everything to him. His aide comes in the morning to shower and dress him, and I have hand sanitizer at his door to be used upon entering. Other than her it’s just me and my girlfriend in the house. My gf is a Dr and goes to work each day (she does not go in his room). I’m young and healthy, and I miss seeing my son and the children, but of course I don’t want to put my husband at risk. Of course I would take precautions and once I was back in the house I would shower before going into his room. Perhaps this question is selfish of me to even consider, but the two year old really misses his “Loves” aka grandmother.

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No, it's not good idea. Unfortunately a 2 year old won't understand why grandma can't be around people right now.
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No it is not safe.

How young is young, by the way? I'm delighted to read that you are young and healthy, but I assume you're speaking comparatively?

The point of social distancing is to reduce radically the number of contacts between individuals in a given population and thereby disrupt the virus's spread. The two year old no doubt is in exuberant good health, but that does not mean he is not harbouring the virus. Your son will have been in contact with a further cohort of individuals. Every person you add to your individual list of contacts increases the risk to everybody you come into contact with. And you cannot shower your respiratory tract.

Please don't think I don't sympathise. I am extremely hacked off that Mothering Sunday was postponed indefinitely because I haven't seen my son, DIL, granddaughters and newly married daughter in six months, or my other daughter for eight weeks, and I was sorely tempted to go ahead with our planned get-together. But then I had to ask: is this *essential*? And no. Not essential. Humph.

Your g/f's being a doctor, by the way, is a problem. I would like to assume that she herself is aware of the problem and is taking all precautions; but do stay on top of this situation. Is it possible for her to use a separate bathroom and avoid shared rooms in your house?

We have a news item today about a doctor being evicted from the room he was renting *because* he is a doctor. And of course, like everybody else, my first response was "well really! What a way to treat our NHS heroes!" But on reading the rest of the story, and reflecting for a while, I see that the landlady had a point. She has her own health and her family's to consider, she is not well, she cannot have in the house somebody who is daily coming into contact with many sick people. We are going to have to work out a better way of housing and catering for our hospital staff, that's all.
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Jennifer3 Jun 2020
Hi! Thanks for the thoughtful reply. My husband has an entire side of the house to himself, and Sarah doesn’t (because of the pandemic) go over there. His door is closed and he is on a separate a.c. unit. He had two “falls” in Feb and in the first week of March two more, so my biggest concern for him was bringing in EMTs to give an assist to lift. He made it until yesterday, dispatch had them here in about 8min mask and all and out in about four minutes. I sprayed Lysol, and wiped down anything they may have touched with Clorox , and put Bill in the shower.
I hope you get to see your children and grandchildren soon.
Be well.
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Can you Skype or do a phone app to visit? I don't know of anyone visiting
anyone and most parents don't want
anyone visiting despite the great help they are missing. It's a sad and strange time. For those who rely on faith it can also be very difficult. If one reflects back to other times of crises there was also solace in places of worship and now that is becoming forbidden. I hope for unity because there is not enough energy for divisiveness and it does not allow for the necessary needs we all need moving forward.
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Thanks for the replies. I guess in asking I was just confirming what I already knew. I’m 45 and rarely get sick, as I avoid people and places that put me at risk. This has been a way of life for many years because I do not want Bill to become ill and end up in the hospital. My gf does not have contact with Bill. He has his own side of the house with everything he needs. While she is a dr, she works at a prison, so for the most part the patients are not sick, but of course she takes necessary precautions as well.
Im very blessed, just sad I guess. We had to cancel Bill and Gannon’s birthday party for next weekend, and he was so excited that we were getting him a big boy bike. Bill remembers in occasionally, but only when he comes over.
Praying that we can all stay well, and things go back to normal soon.
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Riverdale Mar 2020
So sorry for what you are missing. Our family has had to cancel trips etc. Hopefully it will make us even more grateful in the future for the smallest of experiences. And as I posted in another thread there can be true joy one day in buying toilet paper at a time other than 7AM.
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No.
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Riverdale Mar 2020
Please elaborate. Just joking. The lack of social interaction is making me punchy.
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Younger people are getting this virus. Just because you are young and healthy doesn’t matter. Even if you would not get this virus, you could become a carrier for this virus if you choose to expose yourself.

Please stay home and remain safe. Keep those in your home safe by social distancing with others.

Why don’t you FaceTime with your family and friends?

Best wishes to you and your family.
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We’re FaceTiming ours, but we’re in an area that currently is in very dangerous shape.

Still, our grands (4 under the age of 4), LOVE making and receiving the calls.

I sure do. It’s the hugs and kisses though. Definitely not the same on an iPad.
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disgustedtoo Mar 2020
Better than nothing. I don't do Face-anything. My son (DIL and grandson) isn't local to me (about 1.5 hr drive) and is in a more serious location. Daughter works crazy hours at dispatch.

Even if I did have facebook, it wouldn't help for my mother (memory care at locked down AL/IL/MC facility) as she wouldn't understand it and can't hear much of anything, with or without the hearing aid (did not get her a phone when moved to MC for these reasons.)

I stay in touch through text and hangouts on my phone. I was already pretty much hermit status, due to lack of funds to get anything done or do anything - now that this has resolved somewhat, there's nowhere to go, nothing to do!!! Sigh. Typical.
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Generations years ago did not have the luxury of FaceTime. If they were quarantined they truly were isolated.

This generation is blessed to have the technology to see one another. Of course, it isn’t the same but it’s something to be grateful for.

Good for you, Ann for FaceTimeing!
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Countrymouse Mar 2020
I don't think people should FaceTime seniors without prior warning. I got a call at eight a.m. last Sunday, and my poor granddaughters! - I cannot have been a pretty sight.
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I live in South NJ. Most of our cases are North of me especially on the NY/NJ border. We have been self guaranteeing since the 17th. So far in my County we have 2 cases but testing is not available yet.

In Freehold a family thought it would be nice to still have their weekly family dinner on Mar 3. These people did not live together. Out of 7 people 4 died. Someone carried the virus.

No, I don't think it is a good idea to visit your grands. Ur Dr. GF could bring the virus home with her. Then u infect the grands. Stay home. This virus will not die out if u don't stay home.
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NeedHelpWithMom Mar 2020
Thanks for the reality check! We can’t be cavalier about this. The virus is spreading rapidly here because we had over a million people in our city celebrating Mardi Gras. Lots of tourists from all over the world.

We are up to just about 1800 and 65 deaths in Louisiana. State wide mandatory stay at home order, businesses closed, stores are only open for essentials.
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One of my families allows us to visit, the other one won't. Weird, b/c the 2nd family is out and about, showing pics of hanging with their besties--but Nonny & Papa can't come over. I don't know if they are trying to keep US safe or THEM.

Both my DH and I are currently immunosupressed, so we are taking the usual comments. I have been 'isoalting' for almost a year, due to cancer and chemo. Dh is a liver transplant recipient, so he's immunosupressed for life.

We facetime with the kids in Va and Wa. Not much else to do--we just have to ride this out.
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I have read a lot on this and I would AVOID any direct contact that is not absolutely necessary. Call, facetime, or even have them stand outside and waive through the window, but, not in same breathing space or where you touch the same things. The doctor coming in and out is a risk, but, likely not something that can be avoided. We all have some risks, but, I'm tying to lower them as much as possible. Someone can be contagious and not have symptoms. I'd also consider that you could give to the children, since, the doctor, could bring it home to you. There is no way to eliminate all risks, but, the more isolation the better for halting infections.

In my state, evictions are being halted by emergency order, so, people cannot be kicked out of their home, since, they need a place to shelter.
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When schools were let out in New York State, my sig other's teen aged grand-daughters thought this would be a great time to visit us in the Wash DC area. We put a quick kabash on that idea. Nope, nada, zilch. Their Mom was upset we wouldn't allow her and her daughters to visit. HELLO, what earth do they live on?

And even if we said yes, all three of them would be buried in their iphones, so that isn't worth the risk in our book.... [sigh].
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JoAnn29 Mar 2020
Especially coming from NY. Most of NJs cases are from near the border of NY and NJ.
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Stay home. Don't risk your GF health, she has an important responsibility to her community. Do daily FaceTime visits. Flatten the curve.
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This is tricky for us too. There is no non-traceable infection in our state (eg except for contacts with overseas arrivals), let alone in our isolated regional district. Three or four weeks ago, it was my daughter’s birthday, and I gave her very nice cakes of soap as a token (I give money when it is needed). My 5year old grandson has learned to like soap, like his grandma and greatgrandma. My daughter is telling him that the special soap I gave them (pomegranate with seeds), which she stokes him all over with, is like a special stroke and cuddle from Grandma. It’s a nice way to make a difference!
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I would say no. In New York where I live we have the most corona virus of all the states. Also the United States has the most corona virus people infected with it than any other country including Italy and China. We are told to stay home. Don’t visit anyone including grandchildren. The sooner everyone adhered to the stay at home rule, the sooner we can get back to normal with no more cases of the corona virus
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bookluvr Mar 2020
China is under quoting. It’s a given. Best to avoid believing any statistics from communist countries. There are videos snuck out of China from its citizens speaking up. In the latest video, they were ordered not to report any new coronavirus patients. No more updates on the deaths. Etc.... Latest video shows donated packages worldwide just strewn unopened outside, on the ground, etc...

One also needs to take into account that the USA as a country is much bigger than a European country. Several European have mentioned that they can travel within 9 hours by car from one European country to another. They couldn’t believe that they drove that many hours in Texas, and were still in Texas. They did not realize how big Texas was. They mistakenly thought they can cross the US by car ... and were still in Texas...

Therefore comparing Italy to the US is incomparable. Google ‘size of Italy vs USA’. =)
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Also, I don’t think you want people living in New York to flee to your state where you don’t have the corona virus yet. Everyone stay home. I wish I could stay home. I work for the post office and they refused to close our facility down. Last Wednesday a girl tested positive for the corona virus in the building I work at. Needless to say, 20 people called in sick!! I went to work, but 20 of my coworkers didn’t. Our district manager that covers the whole Northeast, told us to come to work!!! Those stimulus checks need to be mailed out!!
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You don't say how old you are but if you are over 60 it would be wise to visit your grandchild with Skype or Facetime. Children are often almost symptom free when they have coronavirus. They are considered super spreaders because they can shed the virus for a long time without anyone realizing they are ill.

For your sake. For your girlfriend. For your husband and for all the rest of us, please wait this out. It won't be forever.
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evitaV Mar 2020
I admire your diplomacy.
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Please don’t do it ! People are dropping like flies!!! if u think it’s that important to see them that you would risk your life and or theirs then I really don’t know what to say.FaceTime/Zoom are apps you can use to video chat with them it will help.Had a group chat with multiple friends at once ,did wonders to lift my spirits 😊
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No. Children have caught the virus and died. It’s not just your who can catch the virus. Everyone should be staying home.
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Here are the facts: 60 million infected, 275,000 hospitalized, 12,500 deaths from . . . . . the swine flu 2009 from the CDC. There was no massive lockdown. The economy didn't stop.
Covid19 is not even in the same ballpark. Each state and county should make up their regs to handle their facts on the ground. CDC says 50% of risk is taken care of by hand washing. A lot more of the risk is taken care of by common sense. And at least 95% of cases are mild or show no symptoms. You make your own decision depending on the facts in your area. For me, as long as the rest of the family was comfortable, I would go visit and take all the precautions.
Don't know why things are the way they are. Maybe Covid19 has a different marketing guru than swine flu.
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Harpcat Mar 2020
This is a much more virulent virus, spreads more easily and causes people to have a horrible type of pneumonia. Much much worse! Swine flu was not a pandemic
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Speak to your friend the doctor about the precautions she takes when she comes home. What does she advise? Children can have the virus and not show symptoms (they seem to have a much milder form of it according to reports).
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ACaringDaughter Mar 2020
All you need to do is turn on the news. CNN, local news, Read the New York Times on-line for free.

Please don’t bother any doctors with questions at this time when the answers are so readily available and our doctors are overwhelmed.
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Don't take chances. They are telling everyone unless you have a love done or someone you are Caring For, Stay INDOOR. Stay away. Contact is safer by Phone.
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No...end of sentence. You need to find creative ways to see them via Skype, FaceTime etc. why put anyone at risk? People can be asymptomatic.
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j have a friend who it turns out brought it to her grandchildren and now the entire multigenerational family is extremely ill.

Did you read in the news about the child under 1 who died in Illinois? Many children other places are sick.

Everyone needs to stay home, as we have been asked, or this period of contagion will continue indefinitely.

it’s not just the flu as some people flippantly say.

As we know, for many, this has proven fatal. For those who are survivors, this virus can cause significant, permanent lung damage.
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Myownlife Mar 2020
Right, and how many people along the way did they give it to?
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This is NOT meant to be a smart-ass question but if your husband is 91 then just how young (and healthy) can you be? Even if he is 20 years older that still puts you in a risk class.
We are told to social distance for a reason. "Missing someone" is not a good enough reason to put may peoples lives in jeopardy especially the doctor who resides in your home.
I suggest you find creative ways to connect with the 2 year old and make this a learning situation for both of you.
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Myownlife Mar 2020
Agreed! I was to have had a vacation in Europe beginning in May which is of course now cancelled, but I still get travel advisories for the countries.

One came this morning from The Netherlands with a lot of information. It is so serious over there now, that " if 2 people are not 5 feet away from each other and are not from the same family, police will issue fines of 400 euros".
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hello Jennifer!

it is indeed very hard times
right now! Please stay home safe and go out only for essentials. You should not go visit anyone right now and none should visit you! Maybe you can FaceTime or Skype? Otherwise talk to them on the phone.

stay safe! We all need to be extra socially responsable !
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Your girlfriend is a doctor,
Your husband is in this 90's
You are in your 40's
You miss seeing your son and children

Something just does not make sense. You NEED to stay at home. Many different generations you could infect.

This emergency is not about you. It is about protecting all those you love. Be mindful and thoughtful. Take care of others by following the CDC guidelines.

That bike will mean even more later.
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Another "No" from me. You have to assume anyone and everyone can be carrying the virus even if they are asymptomatic.
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Just so you know, there have been healthy, read that again, healthy 30 and 40 year olds becoming infected and dying form the coronavirus. That is fact.

The guidelines issued about age over 60, and /or chronic medical conditions, are just that, GUIDELINES. They are not hard and fast rules about who can contract and die from this.

There should be no in-person visiting of anyone for a very long while. Now is not the time to be selfish; it is a time to be selfless and considerate to all humanity.

There is a great video on YouTube by a Dr. Keith Mortman from George Washington University showing a virtual image of the lungs of a health 50-yr. who became infected. This virus causes widespread, diffuse pneumonia of all lobes of both lungs with PERMANENT damage.
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No! No! No! ......I’m a nurse....just the IDEA of what you ask made my blood boil a bit! Stay home Stay home! Stay home!
Use FaceTime, Skype, Zoom, House party there are so many platforms to use to see your grandchildren nowadays!

I am in NJ ...my 94 yr. old MIL is in Assisted Living ....we haven’t been able to see her in a over a month ....@ her age & w/ the current situation maybe we will never see her again! Your grandchildren r young wait till it’s SAFE!
Stay Home! Amen!
( something about your question, ages, etc. seems off ...as other mentioned ...IF you are trolling this is absolutely the lowest to do it here.

Oh, did I mention stay home!
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Jennifer3 Jun 2020
Idk what trolling is. I do have a very out of the box life, and I did report the post that was so judgmental of me and my very real situation. I don’t come on this forum often, but it is here to be a safe place of support for ALL caregivers.
I appreciate your response, and I’m sorry that my venting something would upset anyone. I thought it to be a better choice to come to this safe place, where I didn’t expect anyone to say GO, and vent and put it out there, than to act on my heart.
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