only child ,mom has cancer and other health issues my dad does everything but is in poor health himself. I am a single 51 year old who works two jobs to support myself . I have a daughter who is a single parent and in addition to my parents I help out alot with my grandson. I am very overwhelmed and feel alot of guilt over the way I handle all the resposibility i feel towards my family. I have been cleaning for my parents and feel it is time to get some help. My mom does noy want stangers in her house and so I feel stuck. I told them I could no longer clean as I am really busy. I go over and the house is disgusting and I end up cleaning in a very resentful way. I know they will be gone someday and then I will be sorry for the way I handeled the situation. I have created the way the family depends on me yet now I feel like I no longer can keep up with all I am expected to do.Also I am scared because I dont know how to loose my parents and be in the world without them. I am alreadt grieving there loss as I know they will not be around much longer. I am aware this is a sacred time yet all the other stuff keeps getting in the way. I would br grateful for someones input as I am at my wits end. Thank you
Thanks for sharing your stories. Guess we had the same type of up-bringing. Even after all this time, it still haunts me. But, it's okay.....I got through it and went on to raise a wonderful family.
I suggested they ask someone they knew or knew their parents as it turned out.
Mom seemed content to have some good friends daughter come in. She had been cleaning their small church, altho not attending there.
My mom is now in assisted living as my stepfather killed himself 3 months ago. She has dementia, I have always tried to get for them anything they asked for or I thought they would use, and now my mother has only me to call on. I've had to handle selling their home and getting her into the facility. Which thankfully I had been looking for before she lost her spouse AND her home AND 1/2 her income.
I have a brother who we haven't seen in about 20 years. He is aware of her condition, because his son calls his grandma and lives near his dad. As you can imagine I have many things to deal with at once. No other siblings. You have to be firm with your folks. Maybe come and work along with the housekeeper the first time so they get used to her gradually?? Good Luck, we all need help with SOO many areas of caregiving, and can sympathize.