Mom was diagnosed a year and a half ago. She needed a POA then but we think her husband convinced her she would lose all control. Now she doesn’t have any ability to see that her spending is way more than her income. Has anyone gotten letters of incompetence from the doctors to get a POA, and if so, what consequences were there from your loved one? Mom can’t really pay her bills on her own, but sure knows how to use the credit card..lol. Thanks for any suggestions...
POA can only, ever, be given by the person for whom it is held; and that person must be mentally competent to do so.
The point about needing certification of a person's incompetence is to do with when a springing DPOA is to come into force; or when it can be used to override the wishes of the person for whom it is held. Your parent creates a DPOA in 2010, say. For eight years it sits in the filing cabinet, not needed. Then your parent goes off his trolley, his doctor agrees, you follow whatever registration or execution process applies in your locale, and the DPOA comes into force. Like that.
So. If your parent has not created a DPOA (or any other kind) and is now incompetent, you have missed the boat. You can apply for guardianship, or you can hobble along making the best of things - guardianship is better but more expensive, and for that you would need evidence of your parent's mental incapacity.
Countrygirl, you have the additional complication of your mother's husband. Does he not agree with your mother's diagnosis or something? What does he want to do from here?
What would happen if you simply removed her credit cards from her posession?
So who’s paying the bills (out of mom’s money)? If I’m offensive I apologize but I’ve seen so much skullduggery go on when the time comes to address financial issues concerning mental competence.
Ugly behavior happens regularly!!
It sounds as though the stepfather feels that you are interfering, instead of helping. It would explain why he seems determined to defy you.
If money is the issue, you all three need to sit down and look at it in black and white. This isn't about you wanting to control your mother's spending. It's about their financial reality. Avoid being confrontational about their behaviour, because you need them to focus simply on:
This is what you've got coming in
This is how much you've got going out
What do YOU want to do about that?
If you've got the information to hand, try putting it down on a nice clear sheet of A3 and make a little presentation of it, maybe.
My parents just had the 30 question SLUMS exam for guardianship proceedings. It was conducted by a nurse practitioner in their assisted living facility. They both scored very low.
I can only guess how they reacted. I wasn’t there, thank god.....But I haven’t heard a word about it from either as neither has much short term memory. But ya never know when it might pop up!
This sounds like a bad combination........Old folks, dementia, jerk hubby, casinos.....
I’m thinking that someway you’d better get control of mom’s money. Easier said than done, but They could easily blow it all. Casinos love this type of crowd and will pick them clean.
Care facilities may want a letter from the doc stating granny cannot care for herself. In obvious cases, they don’t usually require it. The doc may want an exam or he/she may just issue the letter based on previous observation.
Guardianship process will require at least one doc to perform competency exam, usually on forms required by the state. This is a sit down with granny, 30 question test.
Sounds like country girls needs to go the guardianship route. Cannot get POA if person is uncooperative or incompetent.
I think you need to consult with the the attorney who wrote this document. It seems to me if you have evidence of your mother's incompetence and don't take control, you are being....er....irresponsible.
Being POA doesn't equate with being popular, or liked. Talk to the lawyer.
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