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Mom is moving in with me (and my family). Currently she needs at least 20 hours a day care, which I am arranging. And that will increase to 24 too soon. What is a fair amount to pay me for managing this around-the-clock care and everything else for her? What about room and board? She will have her own separate bedroom and bathroom? What about food? Most meals will be with the family; however, she eats practically all day long and requires constant snacks, etc., which I don't buy for the rest of us.

Thank you for your advice. Oh, it is private pay and she does have the assets.

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DO NOT MOVE HER IN!!!!!!Big Mistake! Especially don't move her in if YOU don't have the POA.IF she is needing this much care now it will only get worse.PLEASE, please rethink this. Big trouble ahead, red flags, warning,don't do this.
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One way to figure what the cost would be is to find out how much a local nursing home would charge for an Alzheimer/Dementia patient, and use that as your guide.

The cost, depending on where you live, could be any where from $5,000 a month up to $12,000 a month. And from that amount you use said monies to pay for room/board for your mother in your home..... the cost of paying outside help to come into your home.... and costs deducted for special items such as if your Mom needs a hospital bed, walker, special clothing, Depends, etc.

Instead of snacks, wean your Mother over to grapes, apples, pears, etc. which the rest of the family will also enjoy.
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Full time nursing home care in Connecticut is 15,000 per month. If your mother needs 20 hours of care now, soon to be 24/7, why are you not looking into what a facility nearby costs!? No one person can do 24/7. If you have a family of RNs, and CNAs, that great, but make sure you factor in weekends, vacations, need to go on light duty due to injury, etc. Also tax withholding and SS withholding so that you/they are not penalized for dropping out of the workforce for a couple of years.
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See an Elder Law attorney ASAP. You need a written contract. You cannot be POA and pay yourself. Many pitfalls .
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Full time care, in ones own home in Tucson is $11,000 a month.
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I think there could be a lot of pitfalls to this plan, especially if you have siblings. I would consult an attorney who deals with these types of issues. You should have some legal instruments in place, such a DPOA, MPOA, and maybe some kind of contract since you are planning to pay yourself in line with the going rate...not that I'm saying that's wrong, but it could lead to tax issues or issues getting her into place should her assets deplete and you are no longer able to provide her care. Have you looked into group home care instead of a SNF? Just a suggestion. God bless you as you seek the right care for your mom.
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I commend your dedication to your mom, and also for being honest about limitations of caring for her at same time maintaining your own family needs.
In my family, we considered doing this, but sibling nonsense (jealousy over payment to us--they perceived it as us getting more, but, none of them offers to do the same......) made it impossible.
I would just use an abundance of caution with documenting each and every day--- your paid caregivers should use a rubric for each day: a chart showing awake/sleep times, meal times/contents, medications, activities even just TV or radio, showers/shampooing or cleansing and of course Depends change time, any bruises or illness/symptoms, make sure all is documented and have each caregiver check in with the next caregiver and each initial that day's chart.
The very big reason to do this, is in case someone (family? disgruntled caregiver? neighbor?) decides to call Adult Protective Services. If you have a written record, you have "something" to show your diligence. Some people also install security cameras.
Also consider the "last days" if she has a progressive illness. ...do you plan to keep her at home until the very end? We had a relative who had to go to VA as it was just too "medical" to allow him to die at home.
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Pamstegman, why would the POA not be able to care for their parent, in their own home, and be reimbursed for the bedroom, food, time spent caregiving, etc? I am POA for my parents, and provide all my help (considerable amts of time, but they have their own home) for free. But once in a while they have offered to pay some monies for gas. The POA document only states that I cannot make "gifts" to myself, it does not state that I cannot be "compensated" for my time or expenses I incur if it is specifically for parents benefits. In addition, if parents offer me a gift ( as in, hello, its Christmas) I don't have to decline. I think it's fine for a POA to be compensated for actual work they do for parents. Especially if the parent lives in their home. Maybe you could say more about why that could not happen. Or did I misunderstand?
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She won't have those assets longs. She could live another 10-20 years. Put her in an AL now.Please you are making a huge mistake.
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Should a book keeper be hired just in case a sibling has a complaint where the money is going later. Also I care for my Mother 20 hours a day and she does compensate me to keep my car on the road and for food, Is there any rules against this as well. Thanks.
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