When my MIL divided her money I was opposed to her doing it. When I realized it was a lost cause trying to talk her out of it I warned my bil NOT to touch it. I knew this would happen. Three years later he says it's gone. Frivolous spending will do that! My husband and I put it in a seperate account and didn't touch it. My MIL is 89 and not in the best of health. She has no other assets except for her monthly check and a burial fund (I hope). I'm sick to my stomach after hearing what he did and now on top of that I'm worried ... What if she needs long term care? All I know is we have our half of the money but they don't have theirs. Has anyone dealt with something similar who can shed light on this situation? Two years is a very long time to hold your breath and that's what I feel I'm going to be doing now!
Gabriel Heiser
This is not a time to use your neighbor's brother who specializes in Family Law or your boss's daughter who is into Corporate Law. The specialty is critical. Find an Elder Law specialist.
See an ELDER LAW ATTORNEY!
Continue to refuse to let MIL move in (as you did before she moved in with BIL). You can bet BIL will try to make that happen when it becomes obvious there will be a Medicaid penalty.
MIL stupidly gave away her money, and BIL stupidly spent it. Let those two Stupids deal with the consequences.
I'm hoping though that if Medicaid is needed they can somehow attach a lien or something to the 80K they put down on the condo their in OR make them sell to pay back what they moronically spent!
DO NOT MOVE HER IN WITH YOU, even temporarily. Your H doesn't want you to, so don't ruin that relationship by doing so!
If there is a penalty period for Medicaid, you can pay your part from the money your mother gave you (I think?). Your brother will just have to keep your mother in his house because he can't give his portion back.
I repeat DO NOT MOVE HER IN WITH YOU because of your brother's spending the money she gave him and the fact that he doesn't want her living with him anymore.
All your husband can do is safeguard his mother's money until the look-back period is done (to cover the technical aspects) or indefinitely (to cover the moral aspects), and be prepared to use it for her care.
Your brother in law is an idiot. If your MIL does need substantial care within the next two years and the remaining 50% runs out, then he is in the frame for the ongoing costs up to the amount of the share he's already spent - as you realise. But the potential liability he is exposing himself to cannot rebound on you and your husband - unless you're tender-hearted enough to allow yourself to be emotionally blackmailed into making up the deficit yourselves.
And, I have to say, your mother in law is even more of an idiot.
So, in conclusion, when it comes to crossing your fingers and hoping for the best as a form of planning, you can see where your BIL gets it from, can't you?
What is the worst case scenario you're envisaging?
I am not rich by any stretch of the imagination and I have my own financial obligations. I told my husband if he even breathes the word help when this $h*t hits the fan I'm waisting no time heading straight to a lawyer. I will not take this lying down!!!!