HELP! I am a caregiver for my MIL, she just turned 85 but has always been a woman who has been spoiled to the point where she never did much of anything herself. When I ask her to change her pull-up, her standard answer is; "I don't need to, I am dry". She will go all day without changing, she will change before she goes to bed. Now she doesn't want to wash her hands before we eat, she says that's not her way, I told her it's our way and if she doesn't want to wash, than she doesn't touch any of the food when we all are eating at the table. I just don't know what to do anymore. My children don't want to come over to dinner because they see her with her finger up her nose all the time they are here visiting.
If she is cognitively healthy and just spoiled as you indicate, then a tougher approach may be needed. Either way, if your family finds her behavior so disgusting that they don't want to visit, you may have to find another way to have her cared for. I do feel a visit to a neurologist is in order to determine what's going on.
Good luck,
Carol
Before my mother went there, she didn't bathe either. But, once it became routine at the NH, she just goes with the program.
My MIL's AL, recently had a virus, that quarantined them all to their rooms, for 10 days. The whole place was cleaned like a ship. So, I have both mother's in different homes and everyone is clean.
My advice is insist that she move out. You really don't need her problems.
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