My father doesn’t want to use a cane but it might be time. Family is opposing the use of a cane. Any advice?
My father goes on a walk with us but I’ve noticed he tends to trip every now and then and his balance is off even though he hasn’t actually fallen. I feel It’s safer if he uses a cane. He’s adamant he will never be seen with a cane or walker. My sister who lives out of state says let him do what he wants and walk with you and just be happy. He’s not ready mentally for a cane she says. I guess I’m the practical sibling and she’s all about dad being happy, so we tend to butt heads on his care. So I said I’m responsible for his care since he lives with me. I need to make sure he’s safe. She says leave him alone. So now I feel I not only have to convince him to use a cane I also have to convince my sister if he wants to walk with us he has to be safe. Anyone else have a problem similar to this? It’s very stressful
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So, when my father refused to use a cane, we refused to take him anywhere until and unless he GOT a cane! My husband took him over to Walgreen's and dad was able to select a cane that suited him, so we'd be able to continue our outings to restaurants and malls, etc. When faced with that choice, dad suddenly became compliant.
Your father has a choice: He either uses a cane (or a walker when the time comes) or there will be no more walks or outings together. Until you've witnessed your father fall and go through the nightmare that follows, you simply can't understand the severity of it. And neither can he. I am here to tell you that I've been there, done that, and it was ugly.
Wishing you the best of luck.
If his doctor can talk him into trying a balance class, and he likes the idea, he might enjoy it and enjoy being with other people his age. Or might think the idea was terrible.
And this-if a walk is “happy” and he enjoys walking with you, you may wind up spoiling walking by going at him to hard about the cane.
And also- to be of any help, a cane needs to be used correctly and consistently and if you happen to be a physical or occupational therapist you would know what he should be doing but if not, or if he just agrees to use the cane and doesn’t know how or why, he may develop habits that will have to be broken if he arrives at a point when he MUST use a cane.
Your intention is excellent. Unfortunately, he’s not into buying it. Your stress comes from your love for him. See if you can find a (sneaky if necessary) way to enlist the help of his physician and get his gait and walk assessed formally. May work well for both of you.
Now he says he uses it for self protection, so true, just a different perspective on self protection 😀
This is how I feel about canes. They are only good if one leg is the problem. And like said, he would need to be shown how to use it properly. Most people don't. If both legs are involved, then a walker is needed. And that too needs someone to show the person the proper way to use it. My Mom went thru therapy 2x with the same walker. No adjustment the first time, but there was the second. They made it higher.
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