My mom refuses to sign the assisted living application forms and is not mentally cognizant. Should her POA sign and be the person responsible?
She is no longer eligible for services in the independent living section of the nursing facility. She is getting more and more forgetful and is very paranoid and doesn’t trust anyone including her children and thinks that we are moving her to assisted-living ourselves even though it is the facility that requested that she be evaluated and moved to a higher level of care. The administrators did talk to her after the evaluation and told her that she needed to be moved to assisted-living and she was agreeable, but wants to do it on her own timeline and is therefore refusing to cooperate within the timeline we were given which is 10 days. She won’t sign the required papers, and we were told that the POA could sign in her place on all the papers, however the line we sign on says “applicant/responsible party”.
I don’t understand the implications of “responsible party” and want to make sure I’m not getting us into some kind of legal dilemma by signing these papers ourselves.
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I have asked how people wanted me to sign. The majority was my name followed by POA. In some instances, I wrote her name with me under it and POA. I always wrote POA after my name when doing things for Mom and my nephew.
Last year I was having some health issues and my daughter wanted me to come to California to (maybe) live with them. Everything was perfect there. The food, the care, their home, etc. But they determined that I had dementia (without any physical or mental indication) and treated me like a child. I couldn't make any of my own decisions or help them in any way. They whispered behind my back and I felt lonely and rejected. They thought they were treating me like a queen. After three long months, I came back to my home in Wisconsin and plan to stay here now. They weren't being disrespectful, they thought they were doing what should be done. At home, I had myself tested for dementia and I'm fine. I do my own housework and even my banking and taxes. I love to cook, and I still drive to town for groceries and visit friends. They have lived in California for over 30 years now, and even tho we visit yearly and talk on the phone, they don't know about older people and their ways. They meant well and I love them, but I need to make my own decisions, and I'm glad they respected me for that. Just think of how miserable I would be at their home for the rest of my life. I think a lot of older people are forced into a life they don't want. No wonder the elderly get depressed and lonely. I hope this helps people realize that the elderly have feelings too. Let THEM make choices, too. YOU wouldn't want to be told what to do, either!
If she is not cognizant then she legally can not sign a contract. (I am surprised that the facility would allow someone that is not cognizant to sign a contract)The POA would sign on her behalf and indicate on the paperwork that it is being signed by the POA.
My POA for my mom got activated this past spring. So when I finally made the hard decision to move her from my house (after 7 years), I did all the paperwork with the facility in advance as her POA and she just had to go along with what I'd decided. I don't like the way that sounds but it was necessary and it was the only way that it would happen. Otherwise, if you ASK them to sign, they can say no when they actually don't have a choice.
Best of luck.
This is probably a Senior Community where you start out in Independent living meaning you can take care of yourself. Assisted living/Memory care where you need help with some or all of ur ADLs. If you eventually need 24/7 care then you are placed in the LTC section.
This woman's IL has said she is no longer independent. She needs help with her ADLs and that service is not given on an independent level. If she bought into this Community she probably signed papers saying she would abide by the rules. One rule being that she will need to go to the AL/MC section if an evaluation shows she needs it. From what I read the woman has Dementia and should not be living independently. And they can kick her out. These places are private pay. She is a resident who pays rent. If there is a contract and she will not abide by it, they can say AL or you will need to leave. Its a liability for them if they are aware she needs a higher level of care and do not move her to where she can get that care.
I think it is probably as it says, either the person themself signs or the person acting legally on their behalf (POA or Guardian). But no harm in checking! Especially if legal recourse & financial implications are at stake.
Is the POA 'active"? Eg an enduring POA? Or is it the springing POA type that's springs into action when capacity is lost? If so, is there written confirmation from Mom's Doctor to confirm that? Personally I would want to be crystal clear on the POA powers before signing.
If this wasn't real life - a serious & stressful situation.. I could imagine Bugs Bunny doing his gangster persona "Hey listen here Mrs, we can do this the EASY way or the HARD way... what'll it be?"
Mom is fighting for her power here. If there is a way to present the outcome as the 'choice she wants' above other options, I think you have a better chance to have her sign willingly. Eg this private room just became is available. I know it's earlier than you may have liked, but like a good sale item - sometimes you have to grab it before someone else does!
if you feel uncomfortable signing ask for a statement with the facilities letterhead that you will not be held financially accountable. Make sure they sign it as well as you.
as others have said, I signed my name (a million times) and wrote POA for and my parents name. I spent hours doing the paperwork as there was teo of them.
my best to your Mom and to you
I would check with a lawyer, but if you sign "Mary Smith in her capacity as POA for Dorothy Smith" and cross out "responsible party", you are probably good to go. But IANAL.
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