My Dad buys her the wine. She won't go to the Doctor. Help. I live out of state as well as my brother. I am visiting right now and have asked her if she wants to die and she just doesn't say much. I have told her I love her and I hate seeing her like this. Just don't know what I can do. I have asked my Dad to stop buying the wine and I think he gets so much of the brunt end that he doesn't want to hear what she has to say when she is not on the wine. She is about 90 lbs and eats absolutely nothing, only wine. Don't know how much longer she can live like this?
If you try and fail with an intervention that is carefully planned and carried out with all the resources and support you can bring to bear, then at least your conscience is clear as you deal with the grief and the emotions of the inevitable outcome of this situation. I just googled "intervention for elderly alcoholics" and you could add in your city or state and likely find specific professionals who help with this on a regular basis. It is not going to be easy and the outcome is not guaranteed, but the alternative is exactly what you suspect it is.
In all likelihood, your mom is an alcoholic, your dad is an enabler, and you are the fretting child. No one's fault.
Go to Al-Anon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You will meet people in your same situation, be able to talk, find coping mechanisms, and, just imagine, Laugh!!!!!!!!!!!
I forgot to tell my husband that I was doing it - so one night he came home from the office, saw the Frei sitting on our buffet and poured a glass for himself. He couldn't believe how good it tasted for being "alcohol-free" and poured a second glass BEFORE he left to meet me for a community board meeting that evening! Lordy, Lordy... be sure you let others know what you're up to:)
More information might trigger more suggestions.
For Dad to stop the wine supply abruptly sounds dangerous.
An intervention with professional help sounds possible.
Joining Al-Anon might be useful.
Do what you can. You are not totally powerless and you may be able to influence the situation. But ultimately you are not in control. Do you best. Do not take on guilt over this.
How old are they? I have some sympathy for Dad. If he's the only caregiver, he must be so worn down. I feel guilty about how much TV my husband watches, but I would go mad if not for that distraction.