We have no family left and few friends. Most have their own physical problems. DH 's doctor does not Co anything but manage him with meds. I have spent much of my life being a caregiver to other people but always had DH to help me. Now I m totally alone and worse yet, I have my own medical problems and also had clinical depression BEFORE DH's dx. Now it is of course worse. I see a psychologist twice a month. She is my only outreach, my anchor. I am afraid and physically and mentally tired. You all are my last hope. There are no groups in my area that I can reach out to. Help!
We have very little support and manage day to day ourselves.
Please make certain you have at least an hour a day you can call your own. If your loved one is napping, take the opportunity to rest yourself or engage in an activity you enjoy. If you can leave them alone, take the opportunity for a walk. Just getting outside can make such a difference. I take some type of getaway at least every three months. Fortunately we can get an outside agency 4 hours a day in my absence which helps with the guilt of leaving,
Be good to yourself. I feel for you.
I am going to try to get back to church, hopefully tjis weekend, with or without DH.
Dh just turned 65 and we had to get a new 2ndry health ins. State of Ohio is getting out 9f the health ins business. Got a catastrophic coverage policy for him. He will need it. Aldo, the price is not bad, all things considered.
Our house is large, built in the 1890's. I have allowed DH to become a minor pack rat while I was ill. Now I am better but a bit overwhelmed. I don't think Ohio
provides for any kind of help to get a house straightened out. I know that once the clutter is gone and some cleaning is done I can take care of the place myself. But, it's getting things reorganized. That is the problem.
Right now I am d3aling with DH having a bad case of spilling things, mostly in the livingroom. He has pretty well ruined his side of our sofa and his part ofbthe rug below him. I will be cleaning the rug soon. I love doing this since it is so dirty I feel a good bit of power once it is clean again. How do all ofbyoundeal with this problem. Also he drools a lot now, again, any idea how to deal with this?
His hygiene could also do with some help. I insist he showers daily, though I am not around when he supposedly dhowers. He has admitted to going 4 days ithoutbone. We no longer share a bedroom. Mine is upstairs, his is on the 1st floor next to the downstairs bathroom. I have asked him to keep the bathroom clean. He can't, seemingly. It is a mess and I guess I will have to take this chore on too.
As I said, I really can keep this place up, once things are back in order. In fact this is my one big frustration. We always had a neat house until I got ill. Dh was then able to help with things. Now he really cab't but insists he can. I try to have him help around the house to keep his ego up. He now does the wash.
He drove the car, gor the last time, last Thursday. I almost had a heart attack as he drove. Never in mid lane, rather on one line or the other. I asked him to pull over and let me drive. He got a bit nasty, at least for him, and said NO! So, from noe on I will have to drive him to allmhis drs. Appointments..... more time lost ... oh, I know, I shouldn't be like this but I have no time for myself😧
I really dhouldn't be crying about my problems. In reading your replys, many of you are in worse shape then I am. All I need us to get my house in order,,literally snd figuratively. Then I will be able to handle DH better. Maybe I am using my house as something so as not to put total focus on DH and his ptoblemd. I judt fon't know.
Please know that all of you will be in my prayers. I hope that we can become friends and be there for each other. I know that already just knowing you are around helps me to feelmless lost and afraid.
1. Though the paid caregiver only worked three five-hour shifts per week, she saved my life, so to speak. You, too, must have a volunteer or paid caregiver. At first we think we can do it all, but we can't. And no, you are not the exception! You must do whatever is necessary to have some breaks from caregiving.
2. Faith: I have no doubt that God gave me strength and wisdom that I did not have on my own. As the song says, "You raise me up to more than I can be." That goes for caregiving I am sure. But the same God who gives you grace and strength also gave you a brain and He expects you to realize you have limits.
Continue with your counselor, go to church when you can, and find a volunteer or paid caregiver. If you can afford a counselor, you can afford a paid caregiver. Do not give up. God knows you and the load you are carrying.
I am in the same boat as you. My wife has ALZ and I am the sole caregiver. Recently, I found Hospice is not just for an end of life situation. They also provide help for inhome care of the patient (paid for by medicare).
We now have an aide coming three days a week for my wife's bathing and general hygiene. A nurse comes twice a week to check her physically. Hospice also provides necessary supplies and equipment needed by the patient.
Is there county help? Church help? Even an hour will be good. I am lucky to have an aide in 4 hours a day 5 days a week to get him up and bathed, dressed, fed breakfast but I'm still stressed. Good luck to you!