I always thought it was an obligation for parents to raise their children to become responsible adults and productive members of society. Responsible adult children move out into the world, financially support themselves, raise families of their own and save for their own retirements. Responsible adult children do not live off their parents. Should not elderly parents be required the same responsibilities as their adult children? Adult children were not born to be the salvation for their elderly parents. Caring for elderly parents is a choice not a debt.
people who patronize only on holidays are my pet peeve.
on the original subject, i think most parents contributed much more than just raising us. ill bet few of us took off soaring without occasional help from our parents. does that mean we owe them something? imo, yes. someone who takes and never gives back should be eliminated from your life, again, jmho.my feelings hail from the day of the barter system which incredibly we seem to be returning to. in those days a shyster would lose credibility and soon noone would deal with him / her. a financial boycott of sorts.
Modern medicine has allowed us to live much longer lives than in the past. When social security was started, if I have this right, half of everyone died by their 65th birthday. There just weren't that many old people.
Before good birth control, people had lots of kids to take care of them if, by chance, they lived past age 65.
In the old days women mostly didn't work outside the home, so they were available to care for the elderly, and didn't have to balance it with a paying job.
Nowadays an amazing number of people live to be 100. Because of social security and Medicare and good pensions, many elderly are wealthier than their children and grandchildren. Our parents had fewer kids than their parents. Most women now have full time jobs and therefore little time for elder care. Because of the economy, it's very hard for a young person to get started in a career, and lots of us Boomers have had our careers cut short. Young people don't get government help, can't find a job, and get called names for it. The caregiving generation is under a lot of pressure.
Then there's the sense of entitlement - on both sides. Face it, we all want what we want, when we want it. IMHO, that's a good thing because we demand and often get better treated by organizations and corporations. If my parents had treated me the way some parents do, I don't think I would be inclined to do much of anything for them.
It's a bad thing, however, when we forget that some things are beyond our wishes and demands to control. Parents have to accept that we have limits. We have to accept that our parents and siblings are not likely to change. Some parents suck. Some kids suck. Lots of families manage to struggle through with love and grace and a whole lot of effort.
If we were Eskimos in the old days, then, when our parents got too old and infirm to work, they would walk out onto the ice floes and die. Compared to that, what's wrong with a nursing home?
An honor to take care of my Mom? Maybe so but I'm not feeling it. Love her ... just not feeling any 'honor.'
Why the moral fiber of this country
Is gone.....just take a look....parents
Who don't want anything to do
With their elders...or their kids,
What kind of example for the kids.
Yep, just a pack of wild dogs
Show me one person here who planned and planned and dreamed and dreamed of one day being able to care for their elderly, aging parents.
My Mother told everyone who would listen that she would NEVER live with her children. As she got older and had health issues, she actually had to live with us and then announced she would never live in any facility but in her own home. How happy can "they" be just sitting in front of a TV all day? Mother would have so much more interaction and activities in a NH but I have a suspicion the other siblings would rather not spend her money in that way.
It is a very touchy subject wherever I go and we talk about our elderly parents.
I view it as my father will not be around forever and I am blessed and privileged to be able to help him and spend more time with him now as he has begun to have physical issues.
He drove me around, clothed and fed me for the first 18 years of my life. Now it is my time to return the favor.
How society in general feels, I don't know. I don't think the general population thinks much about it.
I don't really think that our "society" has a uniform attitude about this. Individuals have their own opinions. The fact that we have set up Medicaid to help elders who have used up their own money and need help is an indication that one social institution sees it as the responsibility of all of us (taxpayers) to help elders.
I really don't worry about what "society" thinks about this issue. You may get pressure from your parents, from other relatives, from your church, etc. etc. but you need to make your own decisions.