Packing up all her belongings every week. Any suggestions?

Reduce the number of items she has to pack. Give her back appropriate containers for the photos and paper items and toiletries. That will make it easier for you to find what’s needed on a daily basis. If packing keeps her occupied, let her be happy packing. Allow her space to belong to her.
She will not understand what you are telling her about where she lives but she will stop this activity eventually and start another.
Help her pack if you have time and then you will know where everything is when needed. If you have the funds, find her cute bags. Meet her where she is.

Here is a thread from an Alzheimer site that discusses this issue.

https://www.helpforalzheimersfamilies.com/community-voices/your-questions-answered/why-mother-constantly-packs/

If you continue doing the same actions (unpacking), why are you expecting different results?
Maybe it's time to STOP.
Don't unpack anything. Leave everything packed, slowly each item will be placed back into accessible places.
She is stuck on remembering her previous home, is there a way to help create positive experiences in her current location?

Not sure how otherwise active she is, but maybe another way to look at it is that's keeping her moving and giving her some exercise.

Start removing her things so there is less to re-organize. Dementia loves routine and your MIL has found hers.

I am the caregiver...a daughter who moved in with parents to provide care. When I first read the title, I thought it was about the caregiver packing to leave!! LOL. Mentally, I have done that often!! This weekend I will be attending a retreat for Caregivers.. I have begun to take small steps to deal with how caregiving has impacted me. But honestly...packing up and returning to my life I had previously is something I contemplate often! 😊

I agree with others who recommend adapting to, and trying to find a valid use, for the packing.   MIL is doing this for a reason, albeit it not necessarily one that's cognizantly identifiable.

So learn to work with her, find reason to support and validate her concerns instead of challenging them (although that I think is a typical response).  

Is she mobile enough to go for a car ride?    How cognizant is she?   My thoughts are to mollify her by taking a few bags, going for a car ride (different place every time), which if you're in a state that's already segueing into autumn could be a respite from staying inside.   Perhaps stop at a reasonably priced restaurant (for us it was the Dairy Queen!) to get something to take home. 

When you return, you could either leave the bags in the car or bring them inside to the "new" residence.   Create a welcoming environment, play her favorite music, sit and relax, and she may not realize she's back home.   (That really depends on her level of cognizance.)

If there's anyone else at home who could move a few things around to make the environment appear differently, that might help her interpret that she's in a new home.

Alternately, instead of unpacking, set up a system for her to save her treasures and pack them in an organized storage.    Limit the toiletries, etc.   Let her keep her pictures; they probably mean a lot to her.

Omobowale, I rather doubt that this is available now b/c of the pandemic, but the Alzheimer's Assn. in conjunction with a local university created a Creating Confident Caregivers program.  Led by a social worker, it offers valuable insights into identifying, interpreting, responding to, and interacting with older folks.  

I see it in fact is still being offered, at least in some area:

https://www.tehachapinews.com/lifestyle/confident-caregiver-series-to-include-living-with-alzheimers-for-middle-stage-caregivers/article_c3bdd6cc-3d61-11ea-a9a1-034c4ebad073.html

This is the one I attended several years ago:
https://www.michigan.gov/osa/1,4635,7-234-64083_87430---,00.html

In addition to studying (no tests though!), interacting with other caregivers, there are problem solving activities which really challenge your mind for solutions.   But finding those solutions allows caregivers to apply them to everyday situations.

I would take it again if I were still in a caregiving situation.

I agree with others who have already suggested that you stop unpacking what she has packed onto the couch. Let go and let that part of things be.

However, I would suggest doing something else with the photos, newspaper articles, papers. Is it possible to put the photos into a photo album? Or digitize the photos and buy one of those photo frames that display digital photos? I would also put the newspaper clippings into a photo album or scrapbook. Or maybe just take home whatever doesn’t really have to be at her place.

Also, in my humble opinion, please take down the sign as it doesn’t seem to be doing any good anyway and may only be upsetting.

Maybe tell her she has to put all the stuff away since she is moving back in now.

Deep inside, she doesn’t feel that she belongs and she is trying to fix the problem herself. Despite your generous hospitality, she may feel inside like a burden or unwelcome. She may feel useless, like the fabled “Bremen Town Musicians” (children’s story about elderly animals who ran away and saved the day for an innkeeper — in so doing regained their reputation and worth). Her brain just isn’t working correctly. Even though you are frustrated and want to correct this misbehavior, anything perceived as criticism may feel condescending, scolding and more confusing - it may cause her to “shut down” even more.

Be as positive as you can. Play along with the plan. “Oh, you’re moving, well that will be exciting!” I like what you’ve done with the place. Or you must be tired after all that packing, would you like to —(insert some activity that makes her calm or happy)— (bake cookies, relax for a while, take a walk, enjoy television or music, a hot bath, help me cook dinner, have some tea —before you go?)

Since she may feel trapped, give her choices- let her plan what you will have for dinner, or manage the TV remote, or even pick an activity for the whole group if she is able.

If she likes the activities related to moving, maybe folding laundry will be enjoyable. Maybe you could say, could you help me pack these things into the laundry basket? Or if you are donating some items, have her fold them for you first. Remind her that her contribution was needed and appreciated.

Take her shopping at a discount store like TJ Maxx and let her pick out a new comforter. decorative pillows or wall art, curtains, or some kind of small furniture to accessorize her new place (her same room). It may feel less strange and more like home if she participates in the transformation.

Change and loss is hard. She may sense her thoughts are becoming increasingly unclear. She has lost control, independence and freedom - principles that people go to war for.

OMG this is so annoying my mother did the same, when she could get around telling me I hate it here, I want to go home but her home is with her Mom & Dad sister & brother in the 1930’s. Sad thing is my grandmother died in her arms while she was giving her a bath. But now she can’t walk so she doesn’t pack anymore but still tells me I want to go home.

Even tho she's been there a year, sounds to me she's ready to go home.

Is there a possibility that she could Move In to a room at your house, where she would feel Safer and Loved?

Regarding her packing all her stuff, Next time this happens, Don't unpack anything and leave everything on the couch, where she put it and see whst happens.

If nothing else it gives her something to do and she's getting exercise doing it snd not hurting anyone.

Tell her the movers are on strike or their truck broke down and she won't be able to move today. If she is well enough to pack, then she is well enough to help you unpack. Find a way to make a game out of the unpacking.

Might want to try putting her stuff away with much less at her disposal. Give her mini toiletries - and keep refilling them from a larger container. Keep less clothes in her closet. Screw the artwork into the wall so they don't come down. When she has packed, say OK and take her for a road trip - without the stuff of course. Maybe go thrift shopping, out for a treat, and let her put everything back when she gets home. Let her keep nice shopping bags from department stores to "pack" and "unpack" her things. It won't stop the packing habit but it may put a happier spin on it.

Hi, it is impossible to understand where they are in their minds. They really want to go home , to their childhood home.
our mom does this all the time whenever she is alone. The only days she doesn't do it is when we have someone with her all the time, every second reminding her and even that doesn't work. She will laugh and say this is not my home.
we make up so many stories now - things that calm her down like ie. daddy left this house to you so we are here to help you take care of it. No note will work because they just don't get it anymore.
what i found that helped soooo much now is to get her attention away from thoughts. i bought an ipad pro - the big one and put on her favorite musical concerts - primarily andre rei and she sits there in heaven for hours and doesn't think about going home and we talk about stories of her life. I also bought google mini to play music quietly as it distracts her from thinking to go home - she sings along instead of thinking how am i going to escape. I do know that they can't be left alone with their thoughts as they are not current. It is a long road and an impossible climb but keep trying things and hopefully it gets easier. we did ask the doctor to prescribe a mild sedative - mild enough that she can function and so when she gets anxiety to go home - i give it to her teva-lorazem .5mg good luck

My mother in law use to do the same thing. Only she would put everything into large garbage bags and then call us for bogus reasons so we would make an extra visit. I didn't mind doing the visit but I put my foot down about the clothes. I let the staff handle putting everything away. She was in assisted living. Just told her she wasn't ready to come home yet or ask her why she wanted to leave her "apartment".

Guys, a funny story a friend told me that his mom wanted to go home and the home still existed with family... overseas. He took her there to see what would happen. She loved it and he left her there with the family. I wish i could do that it would be the perfect scenario.

We experienced this with my great aunt. Just a forewarning, don't be surprised when she uses her pillow case as a bag...that's what my great aunt did. They are very resourceful.

My Alzheimer husband did that the last two years he lived. (He just passed in July). My living room couch constantly had luggage on it. He would switch them out from time to time. He was ready to go "somewhere", but he didn't know where. A few times he had all MY ski clothes and paraphernalia packed in one of the pieces of luggage. Nothing else but that. Another time it was just shoes. My daughter would show up and say, "Where ya goin', Mom?" I'd say, "Unfortunately, nowhere". She'd say, "Where's Dad going?" I'd say, "He doesn't know". :-)

Yes, it is the most frustrating thing and a lot of work for you. But I'm sorry to tell you............things will get a whole lot worse than that. Bless you!

My goodness you have your hands full. Take most of the items away and leave just a few. She is probably packing to go back to her childhood home, or the home she was at previously. Do you have any idea why she wants to go? My mother says something similar and most of the time it is when she is anxious or stressed over something. It may be because we want to give her a bath, do some exercises, or if I refuse to count her money over again after counting it about 4 times. She sometimes get red in her face and has a temper tantrum, which she never did before her decline the last few years. I am firm with her in a gentle way and change the subject or distract her. That works for us. I am tired too, believe me I am lucky I get out of bed in the morning and do not fall flat on my face. We need to take good care of ourselves as best we can under the circumstances, otherwise we will be in the grave sooner than later. Good luck and wish MIL and you the best. I commend you for being so caring to your MIL, you must be close, nice to see.

Oh boy. I feel for you. I read a lot of nice suggestions, not sure if anything will work. Does she get out of the facility for short trips?

Here's a thought, that may or may not work. A neighbor had taken her Mom to the doctors. When she returned to her home, her Mom would NOT get out of the car. The neighbor was so frustrated that she was yelling, which caught my attention. I tried, but she refused.

I suggested to my very annoyed neighbor to take her for a short ride to go home. I explained to the Mom that her daughter was taking her home. And I would be there to help her get out. It worked! She had no idea who I was, but a very nice lady. I helped her get out of the car and her daughter and I helped her into her home.

You might try having her son take her "home". In the meantime, you can put most things back, but maybe save a few personal things for her to help you put them back, pictures, personal items.

Good luck. I hope this works.

Unfortunately my mother does this too. Even worse she takes her sheets off her beds so I have to remake her bed. I feel fo you. It’s very difficult and frustrating! My mom doesn’t read the sign anymore and when I ask her to read it in front on me and tell me what it says, she still can’t comprehend it. Her room looks like a tidal wave hit it. Not the cute space I had created for her, pictures off the walls, all her trinkets I had to lock away, even her mini blinds are all screwed up....again. Know your not alone, I haven’t found a remedy...good luck to you.

Have you tried having her write a letter to herself when she is having a moment of clarity? I often wonder if this strategy would help...

Unfortunately this is a very common occurrence among those with dementia. Often it's a phase they go through, so one can just try to cope until the next "fixation" takes it's place.

We moved our mother to MC. She packed up items, mainly small items like pictures, knickknacks, wrapped in newspaper (she gets the Sunday paper!) They were in a bag, so I moved them to a little cubby in her room and there they sit to this day (she doesn't seem to go there.) I think she may have packed up clothes initially, but that stopped long ago. Staff would put the items back. She's just past 3.5 years there now.

The first 9 months she pestered my YB to take her back to her condo, where she'd been living alone prior to MC. About that 9 month mark, out of the blue she asked me to drop her off at her mother's and when I deflected that with "too late in the day" and "maybe tomorrow", she asked if I had a key to her previous home, sold 25 years prior! Her mother has been gone 40+ years. Last year she asked about one sister and when I said I hadn't seen or talked with her recently (mom is the only one left now on both sides), she said she's probably tied up with "that baby." I knew she was referring to my cousin's second child. Both were born with a form of MD, the second one totally disabled and mom's sister helped my cousin. That "baby" would be about 40 or so years old now (passed away after surgery error.) So, clearly mom is living her life from 40+ years ago. That will eventually slip back further as time and dementia progresses (she is 97 now, just recently had a mini-stroke, so she may not ever get back to a previous address.)

Although often it works to set up a room like one they had before, it all depends on what's in their mind. Even if it looks like home, it isn't and they know it. Reminders don't really help, and no arguing, explaining or correcting is going to change that. It will only frustrate you and perhaps anger her.

The best suggestions so far were to limit what she has access to. If possible, store only a few days worth of clothing, replacing them with others when the ones she has need to be washed. Limit toiletries and other items in the room. Keep just enough to get through several days. You might also take the suggestions about giving her bags or small luggage so at least the items packed up are "contained."

The artwork should probably just remain off the wall. Someone suggested screwing them to the wall, but she could damage the items, the wall or hurt herself trying to take them down. Since she is hell-bent on taking them down, they aren't doing much to help her "adjustment", esp since it's been a year already!

The less she has access to, the less she can pack and the less you have to "unpack." As staff has told other visitors at mom's facility, you have to live in their "moment." This is their reality and you can't change it, you just have to adjust yourself to it. For instance, if she's packed and ready to go NOW, gently tell her that it's a little late today, maybe tomorrow. Little white lies, vague time frames (they forget anyway!), something to assuage their anxiety and give them hope, even though you know it's a false hope. We use these fibs, little white lies, bend the truth to help calm them, not to hurt them. Real lies are told to CYA, hurt others or just spread untruths. This isn't the case with dementia. Often it's one way to calm them, until the next crisis arises in their minds! You can also just help her to live out of the suitcases, rather than putting everything back every day.

As annoying as this behavior is, it is rather benign. I would take that over those who become combative, aggressive, nasty, and those who refuse to do ANYTHING you try to get them to do, eat, bathe, toilet, meds, etc.! If she ever does start refusing to work with you, it might be worthwhile to hire someone to assist with tasks - often they will work with someone else, but not family.

Best of luck!

my suggestion, and I don't know if it will help your situation although it did help with my grandmother with Dementia, is to give her a suitcase and let her pack then leave the packed open suitcase on the dresser in her room. If the sign is not helping I would get rid of it. I don't know if there is any way you can make the room look like hers from her previous home (it might help with disorientation). I also would limit the number of items in her room (maybe only give her a weeks worth of clothing at at time?)

You need to face something. Your mother has dementia and she will keep driving you nuts day after day and you are the fool for doing what you are doing. You cannot stop her. The only thing you can do is mark her name into everything important and REMOVE ALL OTHER ITEMS. This is typical behavior and the nursing staff has their hands full dealing with it. But if there is nothing to pack, then she can't cause so many problems. Do not arrange, pack, move, etc. It is NOT going to stop. If it is special, then you take it home with you.

You could try distracting her with photos of her childhood and family. I used to do this with my mother-in-law and it helped her forget about going home for awhile each time.
We'd also talk about her past, her family, childhood and young adult life. She enjoyed that.

Time for a change-- when she is at breakfast-- take anything except a couple changes of clothes -- home with you... then integrate what you have in a small way -- minus the junk back in the room. If she asks where it all is-- say it was relocated, not by you, but the management. And tell the staff to keep mum. Go on the offensive ! And stop letting yourself be victimized by the dementia. Dementia never fights fair-- why should you. And a white lie is the norm. Eventually she will forget she even had a home... question? Have you sold her place yet ? Get to work-- clean it up--- dump stuff-- give it to the Goodwill-- get rid of it-- clean up the house and sell it! You are the Power of Attorney ! Be that POA !

Lockett2166 said it right. I just lost my mother and I wish she was still her for me to care for. Please, know this time will pass. Take care.

Imho, you can not reason with someone whose brain is broken. It is a futile effort. Leave only the bare minimum within her boundaries. Prayers sent.