or is it just the ones I end up with?
I didn't even talk to my children like children. I never spoke baby talk. I didn't use the sing songy voice. With Mom, I may speak more slowly but I still talk to her like an adult.
When I brought Carol in, it would drive me crazy how she talked to Mom like she was a baby. But, I let it go because Mom seemed OK with it. Now I have two new, additional, caregivers and I have noticed that they both do it as well. Especially the late afternoon one. She might just be showing off for me when I am around but it drives me crazy to watch how she interacts with mom. She does get Mom to smile but to me it looks like Mom's "I'm putting up with you" smile.
When ask Mom about them, she says she likes all three caregivers and won't complain about them.
Is this normal or did I end up with three random people who all do the same thing?
Some people can't help themselves - they seem to think the best way to address an elder is by raising their voice to a sing-song pitch and speaking to them like a child. When my mom was in the NH, the very first CNA she came in contact with literally bent at the waist and put her face right up close to Mom's and spoke to her in that manner. The action, coupled with the voice ticked Mom right off and she told her in no uncertain terms NOT to speak to her that way, that she was not a child.
I am the supervisor since these three woman are all independently contracted by me so if it is going to be addressed, I will have to do it.
Mom refuses to speak sometimes. She can speak but chooses not to. I usually react by either pretending not to understand her head nods or by flat out telling her off. The afternoon caregiver doesn't want to let her get away with it either so she uses a voice like she is talking to a child, bends down and puts her face near Mom's and says in that sing song voice that she just can't understand and Mom should say it out loud.
Her way is probably better and more compassionate than mine and she is the one who actually gets a response but if I were the elder being spoken to like that, I would punch her in the throat.
They are all wonderful and providing great care. And Mom is usually just sitting in her recliner so they all spend the day cleaning just to keep themselves from losing their minds. You would not believe how clean Mom's apartment is. I don't have to lift a finger anymore. Between the three of them, they steam mop the entire unit at least twice a day.
They are a lifesaver and luckily, I only have to listen to them talk baby talk a few minutes a day. I guess if Mom is OK with it, I will just have to be.
And, I too, find "honey" and "sweetheart" disrespectful
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