I found a resident with an aide helping to clean resident up in my mom's personal bathroom. The resident had soiled himself and the aide took him to my mom's bathroom. I was told this by a family member who was visiting. Mom's room smelled awful and there was no explanation of why the aide used my mom's personal room. I'm not sure what the policy and procedures are and would like to know before I address this incident. Any thoughts?
Or, the poor guy was walking down the hall to his own room and had a very urgent need for a bathroom. He dashed into the nearest room, got into the bathroom, and pulled the cord for an aide.
Though very distasteful, I don't think this incident necessarily reflects badly on the facility. It sounds like they handled it as quickly and thoroughly as possible.
This entire episode is sad. It is sad that your mother needs to be in a care center. It is sad that some people with dementia get confused about which room is theirs. It is sad that many elderly people don't have full control of their bodily functions. It is sad that the poor man had the embarrassment of visitors knowing his predicament.
I would talk to the director about the incident. I would go in with the attitude that I'd like to understand this sad incident and also to hear if there is anything the facility is doing to prevent a repeat. I wouldn't go in with accusations of violating rules.
Policy and procedures relating to the facility should be available through the facility's own, or the group's (if applicable), website. But in any case your first step is to report this incident to the manager or director and ask for an explanation of what happened.
If it was the weekend before, perhaps not too soon.
Either way, why not put in a follow-up telephone call to the director's secretary to confirm that your enquiry/complaint has been received and ask when you might expect the courtesy of a reply.
But honestly- I'd be surprised.
I'm assuming that your mother has a private room since she has her own bathroom. If it were me - I'd talk with the director asap, state that good money is being paid for a private room and bathroom in part, to prevent exactly this type of thing from happening. In short - it is an invasion of your mothers privacy and personal space. Then ask the director how and why this was allowed to happen. Then follow up with asking what steps will be taken to ensure this never happens again.
I feel bad to the resident who had the accident. Seems to me this is a hit on their dignity as well.
On a side note - it's to bad the visitor seeing your mother didn't speak up at the time. I certainly not blaming them but things like this a best addressed immediately. JMO.
I am so very sorry for this difficult journey for you and your mom
Do not beat yourself up about her final hours before passing - you were there for her
May the love of your family and friends ease your grief
So sorry for your loss of your dear Mother.
Thank you for sharing with your new friends here on the forum.
There are many who have experienced similar frustrations, the pain, confusion, and regret of not being by their loved ones side at the exact moment. You may feel alone right now, maybe it's late at night and you cannot sleep.
This difficult and sad journey will be hard. Keep coming back so we can try to ease your burden as you go on the next few days, weeks, months. Every person here can be counted among your new friends.
Sorry your Mom has died.
Vonping, again, I am so sorry for your loss. I wish your family comfort in remembering all the good times you had and that your mom is at peace now.
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