I found a resident with an aide helping to clean resident up in my mom's personal bathroom. The resident had soiled himself and the aide took him to my mom's bathroom. I was told this by a family member who was visiting. Mom's room smelled awful and there was no explanation of why the aide used my mom's personal room. I'm not sure what the policy and procedures are and would like to know before I address this incident. Any thoughts?
Vonping, again, I am so sorry for your loss. I wish your family comfort in remembering all the good times you had and that your mom is at peace now.
So sorry for your loss of your dear Mother.
Thank you for sharing with your new friends here on the forum.
There are many who have experienced similar frustrations, the pain, confusion, and regret of not being by their loved ones side at the exact moment. You may feel alone right now, maybe it's late at night and you cannot sleep.
This difficult and sad journey will be hard. Keep coming back so we can try to ease your burden as you go on the next few days, weeks, months. Every person here can be counted among your new friends.
Sorry your Mom has died.
I was following you along here since I have some of the same issues at my parents AL...but also lotsa caring and love there too, most all of them deserve great praise! Sure, I'd be upset too if they didn't get back with me. I have no answers for you but hang on, someone here will offer you advice and guidance soon.
Thinking of your Mom, you and your family...peace
I am so very sorry for this difficult journey for you and your mom
Do not beat yourself up about her final hours before passing - you were there for her
May the love of your family and friends ease your grief
On 5/17/17 PM I received a call from the med tech , informing me that mom's saturation was dangerously low. He called informed me that he had called 911. I am recovering from an arm surgery & could not drive. After learning that 911 was called, I immediately tried to order an Uber ride to the hospital. I was on the Uber web sight and my home phone (at the same time) , trying to clarify a misunderstanding w/ my Uber account. Meanwhile I received 2 phone calls from the ER. One from the nurse and a few minutes later from the ER doctor. Both asking me if I was on my way to the hospital? I explained my situation. I was informed that they were going to do their best to keep my mom breathing (without using artificial measures ) Mom has/had DNR orders in place. OMG....I'm now wigging out. I called my children to let them know what was going on and ask them to get to the hospital asap. Meanwhile an Uber ride showed up for me and I went straight to the ER. Soon after my girls and son in law as well as my husband showed up. My mom was unresponsive and the oxygen mask was forcing air into her lungs. I requested clergy (for mom's last rights). Once her last rights were received, the oxygen mask was disabled & morphine was administered to keep her comfortable. All her stats went to normal rhythms and didn't sway . The kids went home to shower as did my husband. I went to the restroom. I wasn't gone for more than a few minutes. When I returned to her room there were 2 nurses, disconnecting machines. It appears that mom was waiting for us to leave her alone, so she could take her last breath. The nurses reassured me this happens often. I don't understand? I'm so torn up. I should have been by her side when she passed over. The whole ordeal seems like a dream. It's been 4 days since mom passed. Dealing w/the funeral home has left a bitter taste . They have dropped the ball with misinformation on her obituary as well as many other details with the (pre-arrangements ) made by my mom numerous years ago. I'm numb! Upset & frustrated.
If it was the weekend before, perhaps not too soon.
Either way, why not put in a follow-up telephone call to the director's secretary to confirm that your enquiry/complaint has been received and ask when you might expect the courtesy of a reply.
I have reached out to the director and to date," have not received a return reply."
This is a sad situation for the resident who had the accident, as well as for the guest who had to experience the unpleasantness of the aroma as well as the situation "in general". The guest who was visiting my mom did try to address the issue. Unfortunately, there was limited staff available on a weekend afternoon.
In general the entire scenario is sad, uncomfortable as well as unfortunate for all who had to experience this uncomfortable situation. At this point and time I am more frustrated with the director who has not replied to my inquiry! This isn't 't the first time I have reached out (only to be iqnored).
On the plus side:
My mom is safe. It's a clean, secure MCF , it appears that her major needs and requirements are being met.
It's just so frustrating that I cant get a reply, let alone what are the procedures and guidelines for this type of incident. I have so much on my plate "maybe I should let this incident go?"
Or, the poor guy was walking down the hall to his own room and had a very urgent need for a bathroom. He dashed into the nearest room, got into the bathroom, and pulled the cord for an aide.
Though very distasteful, I don't think this incident necessarily reflects badly on the facility. It sounds like they handled it as quickly and thoroughly as possible.
This entire episode is sad. It is sad that your mother needs to be in a care center. It is sad that some people with dementia get confused about which room is theirs. It is sad that many elderly people don't have full control of their bodily functions. It is sad that the poor man had the embarrassment of visitors knowing his predicament.
I would talk to the director about the incident. I would go in with the attitude that I'd like to understand this sad incident and also to hear if there is anything the facility is doing to prevent a repeat. I wouldn't go in with accusations of violating rules.
But honestly- I'd be surprised.
I'm assuming that your mother has a private room since she has her own bathroom. If it were me - I'd talk with the director asap, state that good money is being paid for a private room and bathroom in part, to prevent exactly this type of thing from happening. In short - it is an invasion of your mothers privacy and personal space. Then ask the director how and why this was allowed to happen. Then follow up with asking what steps will be taken to ensure this never happens again.
I feel bad to the resident who had the accident. Seems to me this is a hit on their dignity as well.
On a side note - it's to bad the visitor seeing your mother didn't speak up at the time. I certainly not blaming them but things like this a best addressed immediately. JMO.
I've searched the web and can't the facilities handbook or policies any where. I've even searched nursing home care standards and several other places to no avail.
Yes, I will be contacting the director. I wanted to know the policy first before I do.
Room is fine now !
Thanks.
Policy and procedures relating to the facility should be available through the facility's own, or the group's (if applicable), website. But in any case your first step is to report this incident to the manager or director and ask for an explanation of what happened.