My wife's sister, who holds the POA for their Mother, has elected to place her in an assisted care facility a thousand plus miles away from her and all of the siblings. Recovery from hip surgery from a fall and the onset of dementia is present. Basically the kids all have moved away and there is no one close to effectively manage care on any kind of regular basis.
Getting any kind of information of what the POA holder plans to do has been impossible.
I long for the day my home sells before the foreclosure lawyers can steal it and I can go back to mom, live close to her, away from the evil family that has turned their back on her and have regular, daily visits, swimming in the pool and walking her little dog, together again. She's 89 this September the 9th.
I infer from your post that communications between the sisters are not good. That is a pity, although I appreciate that it's not always something that can be put right. But unless your wife has a better idea, and assuming that her mother's whereabouts are not actually being kept from her - she's still able to call, write, even visit, is she? - then I cannot see what there is to be gained by an attempt to invoke the law.
Presumably the POA sister has selected this ALF on the grounds that it's in her mother's own home location, has she? It's not totally clear whether the POA sister is among the siblings who would be more than a thousand miles distant; but even if she would, she must have had reasons for her choice. What do you think they are? Do you in fact disagree with them?
However, that brings me back to the decision to place her in an assisted care facility, why so far away from everyone? Given the hip recovery, I hope this place has nursing home ,skilled nursing home staff. Assisted living generally don't handle enough of these types of problems.
I would not place a parent thousands of miles away. No one will be able to visit her regularly, make on-site decisions on her health care plan, encourage her as she faces medical issues, shows up to feed her when she will need help getting the food to her mouth. I can't believe the mother would chose to be thousands of miles from everyone she knows, a very isolated old age. Why?
My guy pointed out this problem with the DPOA, that there is no accountability, no checks & balances.
My parents' attorney said it's not a problem, "just ask" the DPOA if you have any questions.
Herein lies the problem: the DPOA is not trustworthy, I have proof (checks she wrote to herself on parents' checking account.....) But there are much bigger problems going on with the DPOA (dad has dementia, and to change the DPOA would be difficult).
SO, I would say, all POA documents and any other documents with parents' bank accounts, etc should all require periodic reporting to ALL beneficiaries, showing who exactly has written checks, made withdrawls, etc. This is the ONLY way that there can in fact be "checks & balances."
There is a reason for the saying "Giving someone DPOA is giving a license to steal."
Some of us are on scene, doing all the driving, laundry, meal prep, some exterior work, as well as legal and financial work. Some siblings are local, some are not. Some participate with help, others do not. Those who do not have no idea what it's like to have DPOA responsibilities for someone.
I see no valid reason why I should account for my decisions or actions to someone who doesn't even call except on major holidays and birthdays. The expenditure of time and money I've encountered is not something someone living several states away and who has absolutely no right to judge me or my actions can comprehend or appreciat.
I think this is an issue that splits down the middle between those doing the work and those wanting to oversee someone else's work.
In your case, it sounds as though there are issues beyond that, which is a problem outside of just responsible reporting.
Frankly, I think adding the kind of accounting you suggest would be like adding more burdens to already overworked and stressed out caregivers.
You say you have proof; have you confronted your sibling about these issues? What was her response?
There is simply no burden at all, the POA should be keeping an accounting of the finances anyhow! So it would just be a matter of mailing or emailing the balance sheets.
FWIW, the proof is: POA, my Sister, wrote checks to herself after visiting my parents over Thanksgiving and when I asked about it, she claimed it was for her hotel bill while visiting....this from someone who makes 6 figures and lives in 3/4 million home....regularly travels in 5 star hotels for pleasure as well as business.
We hashed it out in a meeting with my attorney (Elder Care), parents' attorney (copyright lawyer, an old friend of Sis) and Sis was there on audio only. My parents were there and both instructed Sis to not write any more checks for travel. But there were some other items I'm not going to disclose that also show Sis using parents' money, without prior permission, for her own benefit.
My lawyer clearly identified this as not in accordance with the intent of POA; the parents' lawyer--who is a college friend of Sis--claims that Sis is entitled to be compensated for her time taking care of parents.......which is a major point of disagreement: My lawyer said, No, visiting parents is not reimbursable, but other lawyer said "Oh yes it is!."
I even pointed out to parents' lawyer, who are you working for? Sis, or my parents?
Whereupon the fight continues, since I am NOT compensated for ANY of my 24/7 caretaking duties!. So yes I am offended by Sis literally TAKING money for herself, and never even imagining that it would be appropriate to compensate me for my time.
WORSE YET, Sis has now instructed all financial institutions to discontinue statements emailed to my mom (Dad is not competent). Mom can still dial in and look at the balances, and print them out if she wants. But without regularly receiving the statements, Mom doesn't ever look at them.....
To me this has all appearances of Sis trying to hide further suspicious activity. I would never have known about the other withdrawls if not for Mom having asked me "what is this?" for several items she had no prior knowledge of, and Mom was extremely upset about all of it. See my other posts......
Tough situation; it's unfortunate that it's turned out this way. Your parents should be able to enjoy the company of all her children, but unfortunately a lot of times it just doesn't work out that way.
Sounds also as if Sis feels she's a high-powered career woman and knows more about finances than her down-to-earth caregiving sister.
Your parents need to change the DPOA - that's probably the only way this situation will be resolved.
I appreciate your explanation.
Another suggestion - I've put it to my sister because my mother keeps asking me about it, but it hasn't happened yet - is to ask your sister to provide your mother with a monthly account of all monies spent on your parents' behalf by their POA (i.e. your sister). This is a perfectly reasonable request with which she ought to be happy to comply: it's your parents' money, your mother is entitled to know exactly what it is being spent on.
Here's the but: but you are not entitled to know. Not unless your mother says so, anyway. You need to assure your sister that you're not ferreting around, or she'll fight tooth and nail to prevent the information reaching you.
Your sister is accountable for what she does with the money she's entrusted with - just not to you. I sympathise, it makes me narrow my eyes and think Hmmmm from time to time too, because the whole situation is inevitably wide open to abuse; but that's how it is. Our parents appointed POAs they trusted, it wasn't us, and if they made lousy, ill-thought-through choices that's not our fault. If we don't like it, the theory goes, we can always wash our hands of it and walk...
This process ia an ongoing learning experience.
Thanks.
The poa is not a document rewarding the person who does the most with power. The poa allows someone to act in certain ways for someone else, in the interest of the person granting the poa; Because there are dishonest people who use their poa to do things that interest them instead of the person giving the poa, the law allows the agent to be questioned by anyone else interested in the well-being of the person granting poa. So, rights must come with responsibilitiesand the laws don't care if the interested party has seen the person granting the poa for years or not.
1. From disguntled mistrustful siblings
2. From LO who may have memory failure/dementia kick in, and can get very paranoid and accusatory (even the most loving parent/loved one can turn on you when dementia hits)
Keep a separate track of all expenses.
My Agent shall provide an accounting for all funds handled and all acts performed as my Agent, but only if I so request or if such a request is made by any authorized personal representative or fiduciary acting on my behalf.
To me, the key word here is "authorized". A sibling would need to be authorized in order for me to be required to produce an accounting. I am assuming that a judge could be considered to be an authorized personal representative (authorized by the court), but not a sibling. Any thoughts from those of you on this site who have legal experience?
I can envision a situation in which a PR or Trustee who didn't hold the DPOA asked for an accounting of activity pre-death.
Typically documents have a list of definitions; as I recall, our Living Trusts did, but I don't recall about the DPOAs. Something I'll check out though.
It may be that "authorized" is determined by case law, but there may also be some statutory reference. I'm going to check mine tomorrow and see what I find.
Notice also that the language is "only if I so request OR ...made by an authorized PR...". So there are two options, one of which would be if the person who executed the DPOA requested it, which I find interesting.
If fraud is committed, then by all means the police should be notified to create a record, so that the attorney may proceed towards a court action. The donor then becomes the plaintiff, and the abuser becomes the defendant. Isn't that the way it goes?
2. "There is ....no state statutes..." is incorrect. Are is used with plural, is with singular. Correct options: "are no statutes" or "is no statute."
3. Same thing as above with "if there is abuse of powers..." Should read "power."
4. A run-on sentence is one without proper sentence ending.
5. Ending sentences with prepositions is not advised.
" Except as otherwise provided in the power of attorney, an agent shall disclose receipts, disbursements, or transactions conducted on behalf of the principal if requested by the principal, a guardian, a conservator, another fiduciary acting for the principal, or, upon the death of the principal, by the personal representative or successor in interest of the principal's estate. If so requested, within 30 days the agent shall comply with the request or provide a writing or other record substantiating why additional time is needed and shall comply with the request within an additional 30 days."
I do not see were it is written, "other children or other relative/interested party".
William and Mary is a well established college, your affiliation with it is impressive. Are you a law professor?