Follow
Share

I have a dysfunctional family (sister is a nut and married to a nut) and, because of that, my parents appointed their rather new attorney at main POA and their accountant as Financial POA. The only thing my name is on is Medical Care Proxy. It is creating problems for me now that my father has died. My mother has some dementia and is in an Indpt/Assisted Living facility. Her dementia is not bad....she knows what's going on, just repeats herself alot. She has LTC insurance and they recently denied her claim for in- home health care assistants, claiming they weren't "licensned." Meanwhile, they have paid similar claims for other residents at the same facility, using the same aides. I want to file an appeal, and I felt an appeal coming from her POA would hold more weight than submitting it myself. I have contacted attorney several times, both by email and phone (of course, he is always "out of the office.") This has been going on for a month. No replies. I sent to his office all the info he will need to file an appeal; no response. He is getting paid quarterly to "monitor" my deceased father's estate! Now I'm wondering just exactly what he is (or is not) doing. Can I get rid of him? Or am stuck? The financial POA is fine; he does communicate with me when I need his advice. I feel like my parents have put me in a "no power" position because of my sister, and now I am having trouble trying to get my mother help when she needs it. Can I fire the durable power of attorney? If my mother tries to do it, will they say she is not in her right mind because of dementia? I can't consult nutty sister; haven't talked to her since my father died 5 years ago. Thanks in advance for any help.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.

26 Answers

Most
Helpful Newest
First Oldest
First
Your mother can go to an attorney and have her POA changed, unless she has been declared incompetent. You need to read the documents and see if it is a durable Power of Attorney or not, and if not what conditions put it in effect. The POA for your father ended with his death and the executor of his will would have been in control of following his will. If you know a good attorney go there first. Best Wishes.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report
don't know exact answer to this buy you might want to check with an Elder Care Attorney who specializes in these things. At least you will get the legal aspect of this.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
Labbydog....you are in a really tough position here. It sounds like you have done everything you can possibly do to obtain the assistance of the (attorney) POA other than perhaps asking for the help of the (financial/accountant) POA to maybe contact the attorney on your behalf regarding this appeal. If this won't work I'd file the appeal sans the attorney's help and simultaneously copy (maybe put on notice?) the attorney on any appeal so he/she knows you aren't going to sit on your hands waiting for their help. Of course, this begs the question as to what exactly are the responsibilities of the attorney/POA since he/she is being paid quarterly for this service. Perhaps there is an expert on this site that can offer additional, more helpful, input? Good luck!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
You're right to get the details of what the POA does to earn the monthly fee for monitoring your father's estate.

Perhaps the money isn't sufficient to cover special conferences with others, on the phone or in person. And it seems doubtful the retainer would include dealing with your mother's insurance disputes.

Professional people such as attorneys have hard-bought expertise and experience and they make a living selling their TIME. If it turns out that what you need is over and above the law firm's contract, you should expect to pay for it.

However, a consultation now could save a lot of time and money in the long run.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
I agree (I was a legal secretary for many years). Something stinks here no attorney waits an entire month unless they are in trial (and even then, they have someone else get back to you). The best thing to do is call your local Bar Association for a referral to an Elder Law attorney. It cost $25 for 30-60 minutes. Don't use Avvo. They are a paid service and are not objective. Make sure he does litigation (ice called several re my brother and they didn't do litigation). No one ever follows my advice on here, but I worked in this field for over 20 years. But I definitely think something stinks with this guy.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report
TheFixer is correct. We had the same problem with the POA of my cousin who was diagnosed with early Alzheimer’s. The POA involved her husband in the decision-making and they, as well as my cousin’s attorney, had questionable motives. Upon investigation, I found they were all a little too close for comfort, and we found they had ulterior motives for wanting to keep her in a facility where she was very unhappy. They refused to entertain the idea of moving her to a more appropriate facility that we had checked out, and even walked out on the discussion. We found another attorney who confirmed that, since my cousin was never declared incompetent, she could change her POA if she desired. It just so happened she wanted to change it, because she had not really trusted this woman for a while – even before things got bad for her - but being a non-confrontational person, she didn’t want to rock the boat in their friendship. We were successful in helping her make the change, and for months afterward, my cousin reiterated how relieved she was that this woman was out of the picture. A trustworthy relative has since taken over the position of POA and is doing a wonderful job. I just wish I had listened to my cousin’s complaints and acted on them before everything went as far as it did. She never should have been placed in that position. At least we were able to remedy it. Best of luck with your situation!
Helpful Answer (5)
Report
You get the license number from home health she got & send in to LTC. Maybe it never goot on the billing. We are using husbands LTC now & we hope we have jumped thru the requirements. Waiting for rembersments for 1st time. Good luck as it all takes time.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
Before spending a lot of time and money on an appeal, read the policy very thoroughly. If the policy pays for home care for licensed only, then that is what they need to see to pay the benefit. Some companies..ie my mother's policy offered a rider - expensive..that would pay for any home care....so the other residents may have that and not the same policy asyour mother..or there may be other reasons...but insurance companies go by the letter of the policy. Your $ may be better spent getting her licensed care they will pay for. You say she is in "ind/assisted living but you want payment for home care. That is 3 separate types of care. She is either ind, assisted living or receiving home care. Ltc policies will not pay for independent living. Make sure you have applied for the benefit appropriately under her policy. If you have proof of her eligibility as requested under the terms of the policy, they will pay. Talk to the insurance company first.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report
Make sure the POA has permission to reveal to you. My mom did not allow that, even though she lived with me.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report
Good point pipruby. I had to get ins form, fill out as DPOA for our son & attorny to get answers.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
Thanks for all the good advice. I'm going to talk with my mother's financial POA and see if he has the same problems trying to communicate with this attorney. I will file the appeal myself; it won't cost anything that way, and I will send an email to noncommunicative attorney saying it's done. One question though: if he is a "durable" POA does that mean I can't get rid of him? Does durable mean permanent?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
Get to another attorney ASAP.

Here's the definition: Definition: A legal document that allows an individual to appoint someone else (proxy) to make medical or health care decisions, in the event the individual becomes unable to make and/or communicate such decisions personally.

A type of advance directive that allows a person to appoint someone (an attorney-in-fact or proxy) to make medical decisions for the person in the event that he or she is unable to do so.

A power of attorney that remains in effect if the principal (person) becomes incapacitated. If a power of attorney is not specifically made durable, it automatically expires if the principal becomes incapacitated.

Note: The Durable Power of Attorney Health Care differs from a Living Will in that the attorney-in-fact or proxy appointed is authorized to make medical decisions in *any situation* where the person is unable to communicate. The Durable Power of Attorney Health Care is *not just* limited to the event of becoming permanently unconscious or terminally ill and unable to communicate.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
There has to be a reason why your parents felt they did not have confidence in either one of you to handle their affairs. With that said, you should probably consult with a elder care attorney to see what options are available to you. A simple letter from your attorney might be just enough to light a fire under your parents attorney.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
Start with Ombudsman for the county and request that they go into the facility and talk to her mother and determine what your mom wants 2) then the Ombudsman can contact the lawyer and state that he needs to communicate with the family 3) If the lawyer still fails to communicate with Ombudsman and family then you can choose to file a complaint with Adult Protective Services and say the POA has failed to communicate with both family and Ombudsman 4) you can then contact American Bar Association and file a complaint against him and tell them the situation start with the Ombudsman first.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report
You can also,get the attys license no from Nexus or the State Bar.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
Regarding my parents appointing an outside POA and Financial POA, they asked me if I wanted to do it, and I declined because I did not want to deal with crazy sister and BIL (they had already had a scheme going with my Dad and bilked him out of lots of money). So, that is the reason. This attorney is relatively new to them and I don't know much about him, but I never thought he would be like this.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
Maybe you could get the POA back when a contract (yearly?) is up. As POA, one should be required to file a monthly report of activity (or lack of). No activity is no reason for no pay, a retainer is a valid fee. A phone conversation with advice or at least a half hour verbal activity check ought to be part of the contractual obligation, but to whom does the POA report? A court? Once you are POA, you should not have to deal with your family any more than the current POA does (or should). You could write a contract that specifies how often you will contact them with a status. Specify that contact is to be made only when necessary or on a defined schedule. Don't let them bully you into submission as has currently happened it seems. Good luck and don't give up. With a silent POA, the NH can get away with anything, and they probably know it.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
You can't lump every LTC policy together. Policies are different. Coverage is different. Depending on the state, assisted livings have certificates, not licenses. Shame on any attorney for ignoring you. Make an appointment. He might take you more seriously.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
If the POA is paying all of my mother and father's bills and they are still living, but that are incapable, does that deem me the daughter the right to go to the POA (my sister, whom my father knows has not had any communication with anyone for two years and ask for a financial accounting)? Or, do I have to wait until after she has blown all of my parents money, besides their beautiful home that is sitting empty, and then try to have her share her 1/3 1/3 1/3 (three siblings) with us, with most of it spent?

Advice would help.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
There are many things that you can do, all dependent upon state law, as Powers of Attorney are state-specific. Here in NY where I practice law, there are mechanisms for compelling an Agent under a Power of Attorney to account for actions, and there are guardianship proceedings to protect an individual from an appointed Agent who may no longer be acting in the principal's best interest. There are also processes for compelling a financial institution or insurance company to accept a properly executed Power of Attorney, but again, the law differs from state to state. Best of luck!
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
Thank you for all the responses. To follow up, I complained to my mother's Financial Power of Attorney that her Durable Power of Attorney (another person) was not responding to me. He replies that he heard from DPOA last week, and that working on the LTC problem for my mother was "next" on his list. I replied to FPOA that it would have been nice if he had also replied to me! I feel like there is no accountability, especially on DPOA's part. I finally get an email from him last night (I'm sure FPOA told him I was mad). I'm thinking maybe I need to get my own elder care law attorney to deal with both of them. I feel like I don't know what they are doing and my mother has enough dementia that they don't bother reporting to her. DPOA said in email that he will "be in the office all day today" to give his full attention to the matter. Fine...where the heck has he been for the past 6 weeks I have been trying to get in touch with him?????
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
You can bypass all this if you go to court for guardianship of your mother.......
If the POA is not doing their job. If there is going to be a fight you will need $2,500.00 retainer to start. MAKE SURE you get a Elder Care Attorney for sure.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
Thank you Boocat. I did not know I could apply for a guardianship for my mother because I thought I couldn't due to the fact she already has a DPOA. I am planning on getting an elder care attorney for myself to help me navigate through this stuff.
Thanks again for your helpful response.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
Concerning the attorney...are you wanting to just talk to him via the phone or e-mail? Perhaps if you attempted to make an appointment with him...a sit-down, in-person, block of time reserved...you would get further.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
There a growing system called IKOR in the United States, that offers medical and financial advocacy services to seniors and the disabled. I am a Managing Director in Western Pennsylvania. We act as POA using Registered Nurses for health related needs and accounting professionals for day to day routine matters. Our costs are a lot less and Attorney's hourly rates and our systems are far more comprehensive for your needs. Our website ikorglobal. Our office has been the solution for these exact situations so when I saw your question I thought you might want to know more information. I hope this helps.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
What does one do if the PoA will not pay for the 24/7 care that another sibling is giving to a parent with dementia? The caregiver has already gone to the Public Trustee about this; but they said that there is no evidence that the PoA is misusing the actual use of available funds, there is nothing they can do.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.

Recent Questions


Popular Questions


Related Questions

Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter