Anyone question why we have to suffer?

Yes, we hear you and can identify with your feelings. There is a great deal of compassion on this website and some good advice as well. We feel your pain! Most of us have been where you are now or are in your same spot at the moment. This is a tough, tough situation to go through. Please find some support for yourself. It will help you so much!

Thanks golfgirl,
Don't have any friends that are going through this now, the ones I do have are too busy to talk about it. I guess I am just too sensitive right now, thank god for this group I can vent to!! Love to you too!!!

Remember "this too shall pass" and forget about going for sainthood - you're already there! God is going to send a hot air balloon down from heaven for me. I don't think I'm even going to have to die first! I believe one day the heavens will open and a balloon will drop in my backyard and I'll just jump in! There you go and the rest is history! He'll probably send one for you too!

Seriously Maryann! I know it seems like you're the only one going through this but your friends will get a turn if they haven't already! My only advice to you is not to talk to too many of the "earth people" about what's going on in your life at the moment. Few people know how to react and offer support if they have not been through this kind of thing. Find a support group or get some personal counseling. Believe me it helps. We all want a normal life with no sickness! One day you will have it! Take one day at a time - if you take any more - it's overwhelming! Love to you!

My friends tell me I am going for sainthood, that hurts when they say it, because I don't want to go for sainthood, I just want a nice normal life with no more sickness in it like I used to have and they all have.

MaryAnn57! I have no children but I did get a mother's day gift from my dog! I bought it for myself and told her it was from her. She loves me so much that she would have bought it if she could have. Sometimes you just gotta take care of yourself! Love to all who post!

Bilmo, your post was not offensive to me at all. I think the same things!!! We are all in this together. Hope we all have a good day today!!

Some might call me delusional, but I DO believe in "Angels"!
I have seen them, received good guidance from them, and know that "Angels" come in both the ephemeral kinds, as well as the flesh-and-blood kinds that simply intervene just at the right moment, with the right words or actions to help us wake up from a particular "nightmare" event of the moment.
Having also experienced near death a few times, "death" of the current body does not exactly cause fear; I know what's there, where we all come from really and where we are going after this.
It is always a surprise why I am still here: in other words, there MUST be really good reasons for me to be here, good, bad or indifferent, or I simply wouldn't be!
And nope, knowing all that, does not make the hard bits easier, to speak of, they are still tough go's, and it is still too easy to get sucked into the depths of incapacity. One might think that having a sense of knowing, would exempt one from the deepest hardships, but it doesn’t.
Love is really all there is. It is the only thing in the Universe with true strength.
Of course, fear has appearance of that, but it is counterfeit in its supposed "strength".
The very second one remembers the slightest glimmer of Love's strength, is when we again become our genuine best selves and emerge from the wreckage of whatever catastrophe we experienced...to the very measure we let Love in to direct our lives.
Yet I still struggle sometimes, get overwhelmed sometimes; sometimes catastrophically so...then I need friends to remind me of the right track to get back on, same as I do for them when they need it, too! We are in this together. It simply works better that way!

bilmo, easy, you sound fed up and stressed like we all get, yeah, a lot of things suck, but theres still some good. if you belive the world sucks with no hope, then unfortunatly thats what your gonna see, and no im not a 'think positive all is happy and unicorns,' no i been kicked in the teeth more than most i know, but im not gonna trip on it. being adopted i did kinda come into this world alone, i firmly belive in doing good because its the only way any kind of karmas gonna smile on you, if you give into thinking dark, then your gonna live with a cloud over you.
if your in a place you cant tolerate anymore, then get out! safe yourself because nobody else will . im saying, i get dark too, belive me, but you feel tons better within yourself for yourself, if you dont let yourself think dark.
the beach works for me. sounds simple, but ive run the gammot of ways to feel better and it all comes back to you must feel good in your skin for you.. dont even let the world get you, because guess what it will. dark gets real heavy. you have to get it away from you. get away from what is stressing you, if its the world getting you down, then go camping. you are on this earth until your not. you can carry the evils of the world but that will crush you. like they say, 'do you boo. do you' in other words, clear your head because it really hurts when you dont. hang in there, theres a reason your here.

Just got back from visiting my mom for mother's day, she was yelling at one of the roommates where she sits during the day saying that she is trying to frame her. All of the aides started laughing. The head nurse said it is okay that they yell, the next minute they will be friends. I just can't deal with this. The aide told me to go home and not to go back the rest of the day. So sad, not a good mother's day.

saints in progress, i like that. there are oposites because there must be balance, if there wasnt death, life wouldnt be precious. without evil, how do you know good? everything must be balanced no matter what your looking at. i dont know why we get picked, but i dont ask why. i know one thing, God wont call me home until he wants me there. you wont die until your numbers up, when your numbers up, your gone. its not scary, its different. whats scary is our bodies getting old and falling apart. now you can function in almost any body if youve got a good strong mind, , so when that falters on you, its terrifying. i kind of know, im going through surgical menapause at 44 and with that come adjusting, i know that, but for two days, my mind was 'shut down for repairs' and i knew my name, i knew i was dressed, and thats about it. i was so scared that my mind went into alzheimers mode and all i could think was i need a babysitter till this passes. who can i hire? but i couldnt dial a phone to order a pizza! my mind usually has a millions things flowing, but it shut down. i wanted to find someone to just let me follow them and watch me. like if you were in a car accident and had to relearn stuff,i had to laugh at myself for going from 1,00000 to 5 overnight, i knew mine would pass. i think thats part of our strength, we can 'fix' ourselfs real fast because our 'charge; comes first.
these i belive people have angels, that watch over us and keep us out of trouble, im sure im not the only ones thats seen them. usually its people from our past that save us from that near miss car wreck that should have killed us, thats angels. what do you want to bet they were caregivers just like us when they were here? God picked us, we will know why later, just have to know that we wont be given more than we can handle. if your slipping, pray for strength. thats the one thing you can always ask for and its always granted.

I believe we are here to both learn and teach, until we learn God's lessons well enough to stop suffering. We are here to interact for the highest Good we can manage--which does not always work out optimally--there are plenty folks at all levels of striving, and plenty who are clueless and stirring the mix making things worse.
As we can see from the various lists on this site, it is really tough--none of us are Saints, but perhaps, saints-in-progress?
God made everything in Creation, and most of it is a Great Mystery to us-
--any who think they know it all, surely have not looked far or deep!
Perhaps it is up to us, in the times of greatest despair,
to find little bits of good to hang onto,
to help pull ourselves back up, so we can carry on,
knowing we are blessed to be breathing, to wake and feel or see the sun, for instance, when many cannot.
It counts, to feel Thankful for what we have, even tiny things, to help find Joy in the midst of whatever we despair about in a particular moment.
There have been times when I felt ready to stop breathing, until I realized there were "threads" all over the place to start grabbing onto, to weave into stronger ropes to hold onto and climb up.
Over and over.
There MUST be a reason for that, even if I do not understand it.
I trust that God is Love that created everything.
For whatever reason, there is the opposite, since we live in an existence of opposites [dichotomy]--there is nothing on the planet or in the known Universe, with only one side, no matter how thin anything is sliced.
There are opposites everywhere.
What matters is what we choose to do with that, how we choose to behave in our world.
We can choose Love, or we can choose fear/anger--those opposites cannot exist at the same time within us, pretty much a Law of Physics--opposites cannot exist in the same time and space.
If we allow fear to drive us, we lose out on truly feeling Love.
If we truly let Love fill our hearts, fear has no power over us.
God gave us free will to choose, then admonished everyone to avoid judging, since that is God's domain.
Yet that happens.
It is still up to each of us, to learn to choose Love, to let Love fill our hearts.
We have had many examples given over time; that is why more teachers keep presenting themselves over the ages--because we have not gotten it quite right yet...we are works in progress, and we are Loved, no matter what circumstances we find ourselves in.
Find that Love, find the Thankfulness and the Joy,
even if it is only for a drink of clean water each day
--that one drink of clean water each day is a really big deal for so many!
So when any of us find ourselves overwhelmed, keep one thought you can grab onto, to hold on, to help you feel lifted up even that little bit.
From that tiny bit, other tiny threads of Hope start coming, and help to hold on.
We suffer as much and until we managed to hold SO tightly to Love, to allow Love to fill us SO thoroughly, that no fear or disaster is able to weasel it's way back in to disturb our equilibrium.
When we have mastered that ability, we will no longer suffer.
Until then, we must do our best to be weavers of Faith, Hope and Patience, to keep enduring until we get there!

kkinsil, haha, never thought of that, God spelled backward, he gaves us dogs to remind us, thats a cool way to look at dogs! i love mine.she reminds me im not horrible like dad calls me sometimes.im not bad, hes just older..

Thanks everyone, feel better reading everyone's posts. Hope all the mother's have a wonderful mother's day, another thing that didn't work out for me, I have no children!!! But I still have alot to be grateful for, just right now going through a really tough time!! Hugs to everyone!!!

Well I am a Christian and a believer in Jesus Christ as our savior. I also believe that God puts us in situations that will make us stronger. God does however give us free will and sometimes our discissions lead to our own suffering which in turn cause suffering for others. Life is not perfect but I do believe that this life is just a preparation for better things to come in heaven. One day he will wipe every tear from our eyes and I for one hope that he has a really big tissue cause I have cried a lot of tears. My Mom died 14 years ago of colon cancer and no one knows more than I do what its like to watch a parent suffer and wonder why. All I know is that Mom is with Jesus now and I will join her some day in a glorious celebration. As for the person who is so greatful for their dog, Do you know what dog spells backwards? GOD, its his way of showing what his unconditional love is all about. I wish you all the best and keep praying to God, he is still listening. Happy Mothers Day to the Moms out there and to my Mom as well.

Austin, I think you're trying to tell me something that I'm not understanding ;)

Could you elaborate? Thanks.

Oct I think you are new here -welcome aboard we may not be normal but that is a setting on the washing machine we vent and laugh and cry and sometimes argue -we are family.

First, realize that you should not take the way your mother feels and treats you personally. She would be the way she is whether you were there or not.

And second, don't buy into your mother's reality. Because it is not real. It is only real in her mind. And you give it reality in your mind when you let it bother you.

This advice may be hard to understant at first. But when you become present in your life, you will undersand.

People like Eckhart Tolle and Byron Katie can guide you.

sweety, Gods giving you strength for something coming up, we either get tested, or we are being prepared for something, but dont get mad at God, tell him to send some strength your way soon! its hard, man let me tell you, im going through surgical menapause right now ( im 44 just hysterectomy and overies removed 1/4/12 because of cancer) and my body and mind are adjusting, but my whole family turned on me, all i asked of dad was to keep my breakdown out of the public arena, but nooooo, mr popular feels he has to cry 'poor poor me' and throw me under the bus telling everyone how horrible i am to everyone and they belive him! i moved here because my brother WAS beating him up, and like most abuse victims, he was quiet, kept his head down, i get rid of brotherr ( prison) dads confindent again so now he tells people that IM abusing him and they are beliving him! hows that for a kick in the teeth? but its not Gods fault, he wont give you more than you can handle, you have to learn to rechannel the anger into something, anything else, anger will fester and turn you dark . your like the rest of us, the people that take abuse from elderly because our shoulders can take it, ( doesnt always feel like we can) but this is the most thankless no-money-paying hard JOB ever!! i choose to belive that we are the stronger ones, were being groomed for something better. if that makes sense. our seat is secure in heaven. think of it like this..if the person is mean, they either cant control/dont know it, or they are straight up mean, in witch God and karma will handle them. ( can you tell im struggling with thi guy here? AHHHH! but its was funny. today he starts on the 'what do you do for me around here' kick, and the phone rang, he couldnt hear the gal so he handed the phone to me. i said ' i dont do anything for you, you just said that right?' so he hangs up the phone all mad, he says 'now did you have to say that?' no more than you did, dad. thats what i do. your so used to me handling everything here its a reflex for you to hand me whatever you dont want to deal with. that is what i do, i smooth the path so you can walk without falling. i monitor things in the background to keep things smooth. i dont make it a point to make myself look good, i do this so you look good. . so stop telling me you give me free rent when the demand for good strong housekeepers is really high right now, the lady next door needs a caregiver.
im sorry, i vented....hold your cool, vent here, dont let yourself think dark thoughts. at least thats my advice i tell myself

Sooo many great pieces of knowledge and advice here! And so many things I have also felt-as so many of us have. If you have time to read-When Bad Things Happen to Good People-it is a good book. Right now I am reading The Purpose Driven Life. Won't solve all your problems but may give you some things to think about!

The "Church of What's Happening Now" too funny Cattails but I hear what you're saying. It's my believe that organized religion is simply a form of control. I'm sure many will disagree with me and that is their right! I am not saying that anyone should do as I do or feel as I feel. We are all individuals and able to make our own decisions. However, I do agree with you about prayer. I no longer believe in a punishing God - One's who is out to get me! I believe in a loving God. Many of us have a hard time with that as we've really never had a good handle on what unconditional love is all about as we did not get that growing up. So, I describe it as the love of a pet! A pet accepts you unconditionally - a pet is non-judgemental, loving and comforting! That is unless your standing in front of a bowl of food!

Seriously I believe that God will help me and will others if we ask. Look at the love on this website! Is it just by chance that we stumbled upon this site. I think there is a great deal of compassion and caring here and we discovered each other for a reason! I don't find a lot of judgement on this website - just ordinary people reaching out to others in their moment of need. That's my description of prayer! We ask God in our moment of need! When we have exhausted ourselves trying to do it on our own, our knees hit the floor and we become willing to ask for his guidance in our individual situation.

Suzmarie: I get you. I have been exposed to so many religions. My dad was Baptist, and his upbringing was so very harsh. My mom was Methodist. Then she decided we all needed to become Catholic. My dad said no way, but the rest of us had no choice. I think I've been a member of everything but the "Church of the What's Happening Now."

Suzmarie: I think prayers are a form on energy. I believe they do have power if you address them with your weaknesses and you just let it all go. There is a release in that and I think it is redeeming. You may not get what you want, but you have shared you loss with the universe, a universe billions of people share. There is an energy there. It's heard. I hope you can trust that you are heard and your prayers comfort others. Much love, Cattails.

Maryann57: You just hang on to all of us. We share your pain and understand it. You are not alone. Cattails.

I am so thankful for this site and to talk to all of you who are dealing with the same problems I am and to know that I am not alone. Cattails, I so agree with you, there is a season for everything and I am so blessed to have met all of you!!

Ahhh... .Cattails, I couldn't agree with you more. Thanks for that. Sometimes when people start talking religion, I get a little squeamish about saying what I believe, or don't believe. You said it for me, and quite nicely, I might add.

Suzmarie, you're entitled to your personal beliefs. If you believe in a power greater than yourself, you're in the game!. Speaking for myself, I've never seen God and I don't know if he has anything to do with illnesses. That's where faith comes in. Let's take this website, many people post on this website to get help or to vent one problem or another. I think most people are here hoping someone will answer with something they can relate to or can make them feel better in some way. They hope there is a caring soul somewhere in cyberspace that hear's and feels their pain. I choose to believe that is the way God works. I believe God will help me and show me the way to get through my current crises - but the clincher is I must pray, recognize and be willing to accept his will. I must ask for what I want but be willing to surrender the end result to him. I believe prayer is comforting. It releases our burdens and lowers our blood pressure. It allows us to rest, relax and grow stronger. It brings me peace and serenity into my life!

By the way, I don't buy into that saying that God never gives you more than you can handle. Some people can't handle it and take their own lives. Again, it isn't fair, but I don't hold that against God. It's the world we live in. Hugs.

Well, I'm going to put the two cents in, for what it is worth. I think we live on a planet that is not controlled by God. It's controlled by nature. To all things there is a season. Maybe that is biblical, but it was probably something else before it got into the book. I do think that God is in our lives and whatever form of God you use is fine with me.

I worked for 22 plus years with children who were terminally ill. I remember one family who's little girl was dying. It was Father's day and extended family came to their home for a BBQ. When the grandparents arrived, their little 4 year old boy ran into the street to greet them and was it by a car and died at the scene. Did I ask myself what God was doing at that moment? You bet I did. I was heart sick for that family. And over the years, I saw similar things happen. Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, it did.

I think you see God, when you see the kindness of others. When there is a natural disaster and people go to help. When you see soup kitchens. There are so many people in this world who try to make it better for others. To me, that is God in action.

I don't think God does things to punish us. He didn't make Katrina happen because he wanted to get even with anyone. He didn't invent AIDS to wreak havoc and misery on a certain population. That's complete BS and those who profess to know God and promote him in this manner are, in my humble opinion, just plain sick.

I think we live in a world that is controlled by nature. We are born, we grow old and die. We suffer from any number of things; poverty, ignorance, cruelty, war, plagues. We may want ourselves and those we love to be spared from suffering, but truly, how is that possible in the randomness of events?

I am grateful that,as a woman, I was born in the US. I could have been born to a destitute family in a foreign land and sold, been one of millions murdered, died of starvation, etc. etc. etc. Why I ended up being born here into a middle class family, even though it wasn't always a kind and loving family, I don't know, but when I look at the world I know I am blessed. So blessed.

I have always felt that most of us in the United States live, even with our difficulties, better than 90 percent of the global population. We didn't earn it, we were just lucky to be born here and not in a poor 3rd world country.

My heart goes out to everyone on this tread. I haven't had to care for people for 25 years, I don't have chronic pain, today my husband is not ill (and by the way I do worry that something will happen to one of us while we are still in the care giving roll), I have a roof over my head and I am able to love.

I want to also mention that we do have the ability to advocate for ourselves. We can say no, take the help that is offered by facilities to help with the care of our parents We can rescue ourselves, even if such action falls outside of our comfort zone. Sometimes it's not God that keeps us stuck in a bad situation, it's us.

I've had my share of heartbreak. It may be different than yours and it may be less than yours. I am very tired of being a care giver and I hope the end comes soon, but I know that I am responsible for taking this task on. No one forced it on me.

When I take a walk, I look at the trees, the pond on our property that has two families with goslings. I hear the birds chirping. I breath in the smell of new mowed grass and welcome the sun on my face. And I thank God for that moment that reminds me I am a part of all that has been created. I am a part of this wonderful beautiful moment, all of which comes from the same source. And I am so grateful that my little view is one of beauty at that moment and not one of suffering that so many see elsewhere. I am grateful for that moment because it takes me to God and away from my sadness and stress.

I don't have the answers, but I can at least share what I am grateful for. Please take steps to make changes that are necessary for your life so it can be as happy as possible. Tragedy is part of nature and chance. It's not personal. Try to hang on to that and make any changes you can to enjoy the live you have been given. It's never too late to be grateful for what you have and it's never to late to look at the choices you make to undermine your own happiness.

As for tragedies, I'm sorry for all who suffer them. A brother who is paralyzed due to an accident, a child who is born with birth defects, a parent who suffers, a spouse who is stricken at a young age. It's never fair. Never.

Love to all of you, Cattails.

Hmm, I wrote a post here, but my post didn't get posted. Basically what I said was that it's always good to be honest with God -- He knows our heart anyway. But He does not make the bad things happen. They happen because we have an enemy who hates us. God cries with us, and promises to walk with us through all the hard stuff in life. Not only that, but He promises that it will turn out for good, even though we may have to wait until heaven to find out what good it did us. I've asked these hard questions, and still do sometimes. But mostly now, I'm coming into the realization that God can be trusted even though circumstances seem to say differently. Without God, we have nothing. With Him, we can make it through, both in this life, and into the next.

i am christian. I don't know if i am Catholic or something else anymore. I don't think God has anything to do with illnesses frankly and prayers...I don't know

Thank you golfgirl!!!