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I was told that there were others here who had lost the person they were caring for and was referred to the Totally Grossed Out threat and the How Are You Doing Today thread but these threads have tens of thousands of comments. How do I get to the most recent comments without having to read 29,000 other comments?

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Woah...wasn't expecting that bit of angst back there! Eyerishlass, I'm glad to see you back and hope you continue to post...would love to read more stories about your dad when you're ready. He must have been a remarkable man because he raised a remarkable daughter. I think you will find a warm welcome on the grossed thread. I also think there's much you can contribute elsewhere on the site. The important thing is that you do whatever feels most comfortable for YOU right now.

I have to say it was the grossed thread that led me to sign on here. I had reached a point after nearly five years of doing this when I desperately needed to reach out and connect with other people who could truly relate to what I was going through. The title caught my attention, I started to read, and next thing I knew I was enjoying the best laugh I'd had in a really long time. I knew eight then and there I'd found the right site! I also have to say that I went back to it a while later, found my way to the end, read the last few pages...and drew back. NOT because it seemed clique-y...more because I was still "feeling my way around" so to speak and unsure of how to introduce myself. The folks posting on it clearly had already built relationships with one another (which I envied!) and I chose at that time...I CHOSE not to intrude on them...at least not yet.

Cap'n's post was harsh, but I get where he's coming from. I'm in agreement with Mishka and Christina on that one. He is an a22, but a good egg all the same...in spite of himself. And kudos to you Bobbie for handling it with such grace.

And cap'n - don't freak. Pour yourself a glass of everclear and raise a toast. God, fate, whatever you choose to believe in has dealt you a good hand, for now at least. Enjoy!
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That 2nd para shoulda started out like...this was a similar discussion/thought addressed earlier today...I am copying it here. I am horrible typist sorry!
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Ya I can tell theres a softy in there capt...and I just want you all to know how appreciated you are!!!
Here is my positive input to one of his comments because the discussion thought was expressed. wouldn't that be awesome if all this pain could be spun into gold! I am copying that post
...I had two idea's of hope in all this despair, trying to think something good needs to come of this wailing wall forum....
1) Neighborhood senior care n respite co-op or pools..Where we all rotate or contribute somehow to give each other time off...in each others homes and give our seniors visits with each other they may socialize as well, if they can, but just provide that outlet for us!! In my small community it may be harder but doable and bigger area's be even better??? And the little specifics of the various care n safety issues don't know how that would work???

2) To start/find a thread and or form some kind of group to spread the word, lobby or whatever it is we need to do get this recognized as the epidemic it has and will become....I have been very loosely following AA (alz asscn) posts n news n some other CG sites seeing info on movements like this. Congress n stuff..
I am not well versed in political stuff but would be interesting way to get mind going and feel more empowerment than helplessness....knowledge is power! I If I had my ducks in a row I would start today, but I can barely tie my shoes above keeping ma healthy at this point in the game!!! I feel after what I am living thru I would totally take charge of it if I ever get enuf stability to feel I wont end up living in my car... Maybe we could brainstorm this together/start something!!!
The girls around town have been having pleasure parties wink wink, and how that works like a Tupperware party they want guests to book parties. I thought why don't I throw one and combine long term care insurance expo with it too...the only way I would! LTCI is important stuff!!!
I am off to bed, you guys are awesome!!!
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Mishka, everyone has a different style of expression and we have to look beyond the facade. It is obvious capnhardass is a sweet soul, we have gotten to know him. Everything he says makes me laugh, snicker, gasp. He's an old fart. I laugh before I read his posts.
Some caregivers are sensitive, or more comfortable with a certain brand of humor. I appreciate that people use any kind of humor to get through this awful job. I love cap's unique irreverance, and I have never seen him target a particular person. He has my support.
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oh im ok with old timers staying with an ongoing thread that theyre comfortable with. its just that this old fellow is pissin in places previously unheard of and i think its imperative that we shift the subject to something thats pertinant to this complication. overall im just funnin with everyone so jell the f out.. i just got wind that for 35 years with hepc and smoking that my livaar and lungs look great. im a tad perplexed by that..im freaked out people, gimmee a break..
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You are an ass ,Capnhardass , but a sweet one. Jujubean - cap'n really is not a hater as much as he tries to be!!!! He is a sweetie -sorry dude-but that is what you get for being so nice to my daughter-anyone who is nice to my girl has a forever spot in my heart. Not defending his post-like he said he is an ass-but I would not label him a hater . Also he makes me laugh, I need to laugh. I NEED TO !!!


So--how did you get the cat pee out of a mattress ? I had to toss a perfectly good brand new micro foam mattress out from cat pee! I was so mad. Kitty wanted to go outside and we wouldn't let him so he got even. Good thing I love cats. We got a new mattress , much cheaper, and let kitty out now. (sigh)
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Eyerish, You will enjoy the people on Grossed Out. Many are no longer caregiving, but a few are. It is a wonderful group. Your beautiful, long, well-written posts will fit in there well. Hope you are getting some rest, Dear Lass:) xo
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You go bob! I just started actively posting the thread in my hour of need this past week week and was welcomed and literally brought back from the edge by the spirit and knowledge of those responding to me!!! As you sed yesterday "pee on the haters" !!
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meh, what do i know? not damn much. its just when you cling to an old thread it smacks of stagnation. the latest thread is some cat pissin the bed till its soaked. solve that problem damnt.. mom brushed her snatch with my toothbrush? well , shit happens. im an ass dammit, gimmee a break..
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Thx thx for speaking kindly of the grossed thread Mishka. Love when you post there and had a good time reading you on your thread in the middle of last night on when I couldn't sleep. Looked up Catfish, the movie on hulu but they only have the trailer. I'll find it!

What a mean thing to say hardass. I know for a fact that no one has ever been mean to you on the grossed thread and I have enjoyed your comments here and there on the site.
til now. guess you're just another hater. *sigh*.
It must be exhausting trying to live up to that name.

It's ok I have been jumped on by a few but just have to shake it off. Caregiving is tough and it can make us say mean stuff depending on the day we're having.

Many of us continue to hang out with good friends we have made and continue to make as we provide support to other caregivers past and present as they provide support for us.
We see new folks all the time who land on us because that title reflects how they feel for that moment just like it reflected how I felt over 3 years ago when I caught mom with that toothbrush.

Life does go on but one thing remains the same: Caregiving is hard and we take our support where we can find it. Whether it's the grossed thread or whatever thread you write on is not what's important. What's important is that you get it out of you and onto a thread so another human being can say: I hear you. You are not alone and you are welcome here.
Most folks on this site write on many!

There's a lovely post from another caregiver who gets us on my wall. I am gratified to read those now and again because it makes me feel good to know that we helped someone through a tough time in their lives. I sure wish there had been something like that when I started out caregiving but I didn't find this site until over 5 years into the game and by that time major decisions had been made due to operating in a vacuum because of no support at all.

So ya, that's my 'ego' talking. For those who get us, thanks. For those that don't, hope you feel better by attacking me.

lovbob
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Oh!!! D'oh! Of course I meant ON ON!!! I accidentally typed an f instead of a n!!!!! Sorry!!!!! (((hugs))))
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Mishka,

I hope you meant to type "on" and not "off" ;-)
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I think that is a good description of those threads, JessieBelle -chat room threads. it is hard to keep up on them.
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BTW, eyerishlass, if you are on a desktop or laptop, you just click the "Last" at the start of the reponses and it will take you to the last page.
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There are four threads here -- the big ones -- that I think of as our chat rooms. I have only posted once or twice in one of them and am so lost now in them that I could never catch up. A lot of people post there, though, that we don't see elsewhere, so it is a good way to get to know more caregivers.
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Capnhardass!!! Geez loueeze! Did someone diss you over there? There are some cliques but I think they are just really close there. And they welcomed me when I went over there-even after I blew up at one of them. I think Eyerishlass will find it a lovely place. But I hope she stays of this side of the site as well!!!!
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I figured it out. I just type in a comment and it automatically flips me to the end of the thread. Mishka, I wish I could get this website on my cell. I've tried but no luck so far. I am not tech savvy at all.
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dogwang. these two threads are the product of clicks. i suggest you people get over your ego trips and converse with the current concerns. la la la la life goes on.. mom brushed her hair with your toothbrush. my mom wiped her ass with one of my a- shirsts. its ok. we have detergent for shit like that..
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I am on a mobile device but when I pull up a post in the left hand corner is "answers 1- whatever number first last". And I tap last to get to the last post. Hope that helps!!
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