My mother is obese and a heave smoker and has many health issues related to her bad decisions. Her house is nasty. She won't do even simple things like wash a disk or empty the trash. She expects me to take off work to constantly drive her to her many doctors appointments even though she can drive. When I talk to her about her driving or doing anything constructive about her house or her health, she says she doesn't 'feel' like it.
What appears as lazy might be health issues. I think your responsibility to your mother is to try to help her get her issues, whatever they may be, identified. When she has a treatment plan, if there are parts you can play to support her, that would be worth doing.
I'm afraid that just complying with her wishes may be enabling her to avoid dealing with whatever is the underlying problem.
love,
zoey and zulu
I would see if there is a way for her to cut down on the smoking. Smoking steals oxygen from the body and can rob people's energy. Tackling addictions is tough, but it would be nice if she could at least cut back. I wouldn't be surprised if she gains a little energy with every cigarette she leaves off during the day.
You don't really have any responsibility to clean up after your mother, but you may need to do things for your own peace of mind. I would say just do what you feel like you need to -- not for her, but for yourself.
See All Answers