My mother passed away 6 months ago and put both my sister and myself as executor to her estate. Being that I live in another state I relinquished my executor role and let her and her husband be sole executor. Finally after 8 months of waiting for our inheritance we were given most of the money and that worked out well, but the problem is that there was one investment that they told me I was sharing 50/50 benificiary with them. They sent me the bank paper that I needed to sign to release the funds and they put my sister and my joint account on that document. I sensed they were hiding something and I called the bank only to find out I am the benificiary 100 percent. I called them on it and since then they have tried every tactic to justify it including telling me they have rights to it, they deserve it. My sister has gone from being angry screaming I dont trust them to the next day crying saying she has been carrying the load for years in the family. Then now they are saying they need to keep that money to pay taxes next year on the money we received. I mostly hate the manipulation and deceit they are displaying. Now my husband and I are fighting because my sister has bullied me into agreeing about the holding onto that tax money. My husband wants me to tell them where to go and to not give the a cent. Up until now I had a very close relationship with my sister and brother in law.. I feel my sister has ruined our family for a very long time. I dont think I can every feel comfortable again around them because of how manipulative they have been. My sister did do a lot for my mother as I moved away 18 years ago from them but my mother was independent and maintained her own home. She took care of me when I was ill for 8 months in her home and didnt charge me a cent. I can't forget that she was so good to me but that doesn't justify their behavior. I am tired of being a doormat but somehow I let myself be talked into signing that paper with our joint account and I sent it to them.
What are you expecting? Do you want your money back? How much of what you kindly contributed to your mother's later years do you calculate was not spent directly on her upkeep and welfare?
2, the only way to remedy what has gone on without getting your sister into trouble is to rewind to 2014 and share the caregiving burden and the administration of finances. So, what do you want your sister to do now to remedy the situation herself? It boils down, really, to telling her your price for silence. But I don't think that's quite what you meant, is it.
I actually have my own situation. My sister designated herself as the power of attorney 2014 after my mother's stroke do to complications to a planned procedure. That decision was never discussed between my brother and I but, nevertheless she's the oldest sibling, 40 years old at the time, un-employed with kidney disease, lives with my mother and without a family of her own. During the last 3 years my sister has been the primary care giver for my mother. Under her condition she has done a good job. During the time of my Mother's rehab, I was with her everyday coaching her to improved health. Her health took a down turn with several smaller strokes and it became apparent the my Mom plateau to a new health standard. My sister assumed the responsibility to bring our Mother home to care for her. My brother and I expressed our concerns but did not object as I assumed her love and care would be more pleasant than in a facility. Truth is, she needed my mother to come home to care for her as she would not be able to financially survive without her. I visited every weekend and we spent all holidays at my home to enjoy our Mother.
Fast forward to more resent times. My sister has been pushing out a bad public image of my brother and I as though we are putting on a show for witnesses. Needless to say the truth always comes out. She, as the power of attorney converted our Mother's Deferred Comp ( 401k) into an IRA account, has taken out $10K upon doing so and named herself 100% beneficiary to the account. After that, she has been bleeding the account to where half of the initial money is left in there. She has taken out $24k last year along with $14k being taken out in just October. The sad news is that our Mother suffered another major stroke that ultimately took her life in in-home hospice care where all three of us provided care around the clock.
After her death, my sister said that she had "no money" to bury our Mother. I did what I had to do and covered the necessary expenses to be paid back when the business aspects are in order so we all may give our Mother a dignified funeral.
Now is when many truths are coming to light! My sister never said when she changed over our Mother's account and DEFINITELY left out the part where she named herself the sole beneficiary. My sister inherited the all of the real estate (her name is on the property) where she lived with my mother and she is contently lying about how much money she has taken out of the IRA account, the cost of the mortgage ( she doubled the price) and whether or not our Mother has any bank accounts and the amount of money in them. In flat, I'm a disgusted about my sister's deceit. She has abused her power of attorney in which the abuse has all of the elements. She loved our Mother and us as well but, she is manipulative, spiteful and deceitful. Not only would our Mother not want for our sister to write us out of benefiting from her 401k but furthermore, she had several strokes which negatively affected her cognition. Our Mother knew the gravity of the medical procedure she was going to have and DID have her business affairs in order. This is why the action and timing is inconsistent
I say all of this to say, I love my sister and would not want anything bad to happen to her. With that said, she committed fraud in which she didn't care about my brother and nor our children! How, if any way is there a way to remedy this without my sister getting in trouble?
I think that caring for my parents was the right thing to do and that even though I have witnesses who heard my parents say the house would be mine for caring for them, my sister should have some, but not half of the money. She is my beneficiary and will get it all and more when I die and my health is precarious. I think under normal circumstances she would generally agree to let me do what I plan to do with the house, but she has a gambling and legal prescription problem and will not admit it or accept help. I am to the point where I don't care if she gets the entire house. It's an albatross around my neck. I pay the taxes and insurance, but my relationship with her for these last few years is more important. I just wish she would help me with the bills. I don't know what the right answer is...my heart says one thing...my head another. I am sorry you are going through such times with your sibling when you are both orphans and alone except for your spouse and kids. You are lucky that you have a family of your own. And your husband should keep out of it. It isn't about him. My sister's husband constantly stuck his nose in hers and my differences and it only made for hard feelings and longer times to get over our issues.
Is the $800K ($200K for your executrix sister and $200K for each of the other 3 of you)? in this account? Or is it the value of real property?
How it's held and as what kind of an asset makes a different in whether or not it's taxable. And there's also the issue of language in the Will providing that funds be divided 4 ways.
I think you're right to query whether this would be considered a gift or an inheritance, but I think it depends not only on the Will's language but on legal issues which are beyond me.
I do think this is a question for a estate planning attorney, and would turn on whether or not funds held jointly and passed on the successors are to be considered assets of the Estate, or if they passed directly to your sister who as you query is gifting it to you.
I really don't know, but just wanted to support your concern.
Do you have an attorney of your own? If not, perhaps your sister could ask her attorney to issue an opinion for the heirs on the taxability of the funds.
What makes you suspect the executor is hiding insurance policies? Are you specifically aware of these hidden policies?
There's obviously more to this situation than you've written. What's going on?
My aunt had some pictures which he 'sold' and we had receipts for them but what we didn't know is that he sold them to a woman he was about to marry...needless to say a lot of money was lost that way. Ditto some of the jewellery. She had a cellar full of original just post WW2 and WW2 stuff everything that you might need in the event of WW3 to be fair. I only know because as a teenager the place fascinated me.
Uncle was sure we would be at war again and he wasn't taking chances!
Everything was neatly kept on shelves and was in pristine condition because uncle wrapped everything in muslin and then covered it with dust sheets....one day of the week he used to go down dust through and check it and I loved those days. I can't imagine what those things were worth. Original unused mangle, washing copper. My favourite was an old well that had been put there after plumbing was installed. I had no idea whether it worked - Uncle said it did and it had one of those pump handles that would draw the water up - not sure where from but there it was off to one side. It was a fascinating place Dozens of oil lamps all shiny and as original (they were all bought new). It was like time stopped down there. Gas masks, tin hats, bottles of wine and spirits all laid down and turned every so often. Iron bedsteads, armoires with shelf upon shelf of real linen bed linen. Towels that had never been out of their paper packets all that was apparently 'donated' to a museum - we never saw receipts for those!
Their house was built a very long time ago when prison officers weren't safe to walk home from their job and there was a blocked up tunnel that went all the way to the prison so their cellar was HUGE. It had a massive gate, beyond which you could see the brickwork where the tunnel was bricked up.
God knows what it all was worth but I do know that of the three inheritors mum received 2000 pounds - allegedly all the rest went on care fees - I never believed him for one moment especially when he bought his daughter a house the very next year!
My brother, sister and I never knew this because I had told my mother to open up a trust account and they would handle everything for her. My mother agreed but my other sister had other thoughts/plans and had my mother sign everything over to her before we could get my mother to open the trust account.
Remember that this started in 1993 after my fathers death.
With that said and at this point, my sister started to spend my mothers retirement and pension, had the house signed over to her, changed the will, cleared out my mother and my joint account and made sure my brother, sister and I got nothing. My mother died in 2005 at age 92. We are talking about a $1.5 million dollar and five different property inheritance lost to my sister. Shame on her but I still love her because that is what my mother would have wanted me to do. My brother died broke and my other sister is sick and I put my faith in God to handle it his way. God bless you girl with your problem.