I am a full time caregiver for my grandmother. She is currently in hospice and at the end of her life. The chaplain told us to thank her and let her go. Tell her it's ok. As you can imagine it has been rough. The other day APS showed up for a well check. She didn't have any details. At all. I led her too my grandmother's room where she tried to talk to my gram after I had already told her she couldn't respond. She asked questions, I answered. I even showed her the pressure sore on her foot that led us to being able to get a chamber bed. I gave her our nurses number, the aides number and our social workers number. She called the numbers and was given the same information, that my grandmother is well taken care of, comfortable and loved. So then the social worker shows up at 745am!!!! She comes with a nurse from the VNA but not the nurse we have. She said she had a question about my grandmother's foot. I asked her why her call to our regular nurse was not enough. Hey reply was that she had a question. So the nurse came into my grams room, took 30 seconds to look at her foot and said it was fine. And then they left. I'm still livid that anyone thought it was okay to knock on our door that early. We are letting my grandmother go. We are telling her its okay. This is a very sacred and private time for our family. This was supposed to be a well check. Why is she still around? I want to know if I can do anything to prevent her from disturbing these moments for what could be a short time.
But I can see and understand that you feel sore about this, and perhaps even though you know rationally that they were right to check - always check, never assume, you never know... - there must still be that unpleasant sensation lurking in the background of having been unjustly, absurdly "suspected".
Perhaps it would help relieve tension, and clarify APS's plans, if you were to put in a call on the pretext of asking about follow-up to this latest visit. You can explain that although you understand the good policy behind it, and you are even happy that your grandmother's welfare is officially important, the visit was disruptive and the family is anxious to focus only on your grandmother at this very - as you say - private time.
They are unlikely to apologise, because they followed procedure. If you get a human social worker with some common sense on the line, though, he or she might express regret that the visit intruded on the family. Is there anything else you're hoping for?