My mother and I go to church every Sunday, then out to eat. She has dementia and mobility problems (rollator at about 1 mile a day :). In the restaurant she talks about the same things and often says bad things about people. It's the same each week. I hold my tongue, because Sunday is her day.
When we get home, the same thing happens each week. I hit the bed and sleep away the rest of the day. No, I shouldn't be that tired. I also noticed I get very sleepy after doing anything with my mother during the day, such as going to the doctor and out to eat. The only thing I can figure is that it is so stressful holding myself and my tongue back that I have to reset my body and mind.
Does this happen to anyone else? I'd like to say it's a power nap, but these naps last around 3 hours. Yikes.
I would have to say.... that yes it is the stress? Also it has become a habit for you and your body knows it's your nap day and you sleep really well ? :)
Like you, I get tired when doing things with my mom. Simply because she complains the entire time and it sucks me dry ( like your sponge theory)...at times I wonder why I still bother to make her do things.
How can you get away napping hours? :My mom barely sleeps at night much less me being able to nap during the day. By 6 every morning she's at my door asking if I am awake. This goes on for an hour or so...
The complaints and negative remarks are certainly wearing. Today there was a young couple sitting at a table near us and she got fixed on them. I hoped that they didn't hear her talking about them. She kept saying "She's got a ring on, so they're married." I was thinking, well, so what? As far as I knew it was his mother, aunt, or sister. I wasn't going to ask. At least she wasn't talking about how fat or ugly someone was.
Since this is happening on Sunday and I am Catholic I am inclined to say "offer it up!" HAHA!
I also take my mom out once a week and I give her the choice of where to go, where to eat, etc.
Have you tried inviting someone to come to lunch with you for a diversion in conversation? Maybe someone from church? Even with dementia your mom may "put on a good face" for company.
Hopefully it would be enjoyable for both of you. You may not want to let your mom know ahead of time in case she might obsess over it or she may even forget.
You should let them know ahead of time about the dementia and prepare them for the worst! Hopefully you can find a good sport!
As for the napping....are you able to get enough rest nightly? Are you making up for lost sleep all week? The amount of stress and rest maybe related.
i can take a hint..
I would love to have company join us for lunch, but I don't know anyone well enough to ask them. I've been here for 4 years, but I can still count all my good friends on zero hands. I have a few almost-friends, but none that are available on Sunday. We did go to a church luncheon a couple of weeks ago and sat with people she used to know. She was on her best behavior then, so it worked.
So many similarities with dementia. I pray to God I don't start harping on how people look or what they or anything for that matter. Not sure about your mom Jesse but mine never said things like she does now. It's rather embarrassing at times.... I kind of do a "wink wink" so people understand.
It appears they are always on their best behavior when around other people....the caregiver gets the brunt of the anger/bad behavior. Duck / water/ stick / stones/ it just makes you tired.
My only friends are in FL. They honestly do their best to understand...even they now are starting to dwindle with me and keeping in touch.
Click click click.... I want to go home
You can do this Jessee....bless YOU for doing it
I refuse to take my out to eat. My sister comes on Sunday and will take Mom out after Mass, but not me! I spend 24\7 with her and if I get a chance to eat out I want it to be relaxing... I'll get take out for Mom but after the last time we were out and she embarrassed me with remarks about the "fat" lady, I said never again...She doesn't appreciate it anyway so why bother.?
Spending time with anyone who is suffering from any form of Dementia is taxing.
Blessing Be....
But, yes, sleep is I think a necessary recovery mode.
I didn't just take a nap when I got home. I passed out. She was off her chain.
I stay with Mom because she has very poor vision and has trouble finding what she wants on the shelves.... thus I am busy "re-shelving" whatever she takes an item off the shelf and can't put back where she found it. Lot of lifting and bending as it always seems what Mom needs is either on the top shelf [I have to use her cane to pull the item down] or on the bottom shelf where I find it takes me time to stand back up....
Then the time comes to find Dad in the store.... I get Mom settled on a bench with her cart, and start the man hunt. It usually is 3 trips around the store before I find him. We get back to where Mom should be, but she was worried about Dad and starts looking for him. So I settle Dad on the bench and go look for her. Then Dad decides to go look at the new light bulbs..... Ekkkkk !!
Then loading and unloading my parents' car [which I hate driving, it like driving a cruise ship], and that also can be very tiring for someone my age [pushing 70]... and loading my bags into my vehicle..... then into my own house...
No wonder I am ready for a nap. Once I get to my house, I sit down in front of the TV and am out like a light after 15 minutes.
And my parents wonder why I make excuses for not going to Target more often :)