My wife with dementia is in the psyh ward of our local hospital. I have been visiting every day for as long as they permit, helping her with meals, removing her restraints and walking with her. Am I helping or interfering with her care? The nurse and caregivers are are so nice they would not ask me to be less involved. But I feel my being there prevents them from doing what is best for my wife, such as restraining her, and undermines their authority in her mind and is not helpful. Should I practice tough love and reduce my interference for my wife's sake.
However, you do have to consider yourself, as well. This is for the long haul and if your physical or emotional health breaks down you will both suffer. You need to take some time for yourself and do what you enjoy - guilt free.
Try to find a balance that is best for your wife and still gives you breathing room. I can only think that your visits are helpful in that people can easily feel abandoned if they don't see people they love. But every day may not be the best.
Talk with your spiritual leader if you feel that would help.
Again, balance is what it's about. Take care of yourself and you are taking care of your wife.
Carol
In general, when a dementia patient is making a permanent transition to a facility, if they have been prone to throwing tantrums, for lack of a better word, some places advise families to stay away for a week while the patient gets settled. (I could never do that to my mom; she doesn't have tantrums).
But your wife isn't making a permanent transition to a psych hospital, at least I don't believe so. She's there to get her meds adjusted. Tough love works when the patient has the capacity to learn from it. Sadly, most late stage dementia patients (which I believe is how you characterized your wife in another post) no longer have the capacity to learn from experiences.
But I would be guided by the professional, supervisory staff in this instance.
I found it very annoying to be in a bed or chair with an alarm plugged in because they said I was fall risk and not allowed to move to sit on the bedside commode without summoning an Aide.
No one can tell how much your wife comprehends at this time but if she appears to be comforted by your presence keep up the good work you cannily do good. however i would add do take some time for yourself, you need to be strong if she returns home.
You are being very helpful to the staff because all the time you spend with your wife is time spared for them.
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