Recently lost a Sister or Brother. This is the 2nd Mother's Day since my Sis passed, suddenly. I was somewhat prepared for things like her Birthday, Christmas to kind of "sting". All day today, (other than feeling like I was a miserable sub alone, ...Sissy was more girly than I), and worrying about how Mamma would feel, I felt "blue" myself. Mostly for the loss of 1/2 my team, the bigger kid that helped me cover things. Anyone else?
Luckily after we took her out to eat with our daughter and grandson on Mother's Day, she seemed to know who we were and was pretty lucid. We had a very special time and I cherish those special moments! Then yesterday which was the day after Mother's Day she was back to not knowing who I am. She woke up asking for a ride home to her Mom and Dad's and I was a complete stranger to her again. It is so disheartening! I think it would be better at this point just to let her go. It must be hard for her to wake up and not know where she is or who she is living with. It is hard on me too as I hate playing these little cherades having to act like I'm just another caregiver. I've had her yell at me, "No, you are not my daughter!" and "I don't love you anymore!" I know she doesn't mean it, that she doesn't know what she's doing anymore but it is very hurtful. She is not totally gone to me as there are moments of clarity, but I am a stranger to her! I miss our Mother-Daughter relationship so much! That's why Mother's Day can be so difficult. I am just thankful that we had our special moment there on Mother's Day even if it was only for a brief while, and I will hang on to that!
To those who have lost a child, or your parent has alz and seems to not be there, my heart ache's for you. I can't even imagine. But i know that i would do it over again taking care of my Mom. I wasn't perfect and i think i dwell too much on that, but i did the best i could with what i knew and learned from this website and from Hospice.
Happy Belated Mother's Day Everyone.
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