My 91 year old Mother is not able to live independently, she has an in home unskilled caregiver 14 hours per day now. Other than being deaf and very weak and unable to walk without assistance, she is in surprising good health and adamant to stay in her own home. However, the cost of in home care will deplete her savings in less than 2 years. How can we best explain to her she must investigate other options or risk being penniless and unable to care for herself?
If she has enough money for 2 more years in her home, does waiting a year make sense for this discussion? At 91 things can change drastically in a year.
Be her advocate and help her to see what is out there in her price range. She doesn't have to move NOW, but sooner rather than later. You don't want to be in the situation where you are forced by circumstances to place her anyplace that has a bed available and she has no voice in the matter.
Sadly, jeannegibbs is right - at 91, I don't blame your mother for not wanting to move. It's time to line up medicaid for her as I don't know how long it takes. But she'll have to spend what she has to be eligible.
Sit her down and have an honest and frank discussion with your mom. Tell her that she is running out of money and will not be able to stay in her home. Let her know that she has your full support and that you will help her figure out her next step.
Once your mom has this information be prepared for her to begin coming up with ideas on how she can stay in her home. The ideas will be desperate and unrealistic but try to put yourself in her shoes and be empathetic and understanding. It's best that she gets this information now so she has time to process it and begin thinking about what she wants to do next.
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