I've got a disabled sister, an elderly dad who needs care round the clock, and a strict job with little free time. There is a neighbor who grew up in a group home setting and now lives alone close to me. She isn't the most pleasant person to be around, has part time staff to help her, but needs friendship. I simply can't be the one to give her my cell number to comfort her when she gets lonely. How can we help someone like that? She is a little selfish and difficult but so needy and shouldn't be abandoned to solitude. (yes, she has pets, a nice place, and lives ok, just lonely and she's sort of a pariah around here cause she's so needy.) She has balance issues and doesn't walk well, lost use of one arm, and is a cancer survivor, in her 40s I think.
I guess I would just try and set up boundaries with the neighbor but let her know you do care. Maybe establish a set time when you visit with her-once a week- stop by for 20 minutes? I would not give her your cell phone number. That puts her too much in charge. My advice is keep the visits light hearted , not about her care-she should have agencies for that. Make it just social calls. Light chatter. Let her know she is not alone but you are not her caregiver. If she seems in need of help call APS. Just be a neighbor. A friend. But not a caregiver to her.
Blessings to you both.
as far as support- are you the neighborly type? get clear about your motives and move on from there
no one deserves to be feel abandoned - not the elderly, the sick, the well
if i were in your shoes id drop a meal by and thats that
I'd just gently tell her that your life is too full, but that you'll pray/light a candle/think a kind thought for her every day, and that it's the best you can do.
And then believe it.
You are a big enough hero with what you are doing:) xo
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